Love
by Baby Cougar
Summary: Little relationship stuffs between Kashii and Shi starting from when they started getting friendly with one another. He protects his precious people viciously, even if he's aware or thinks they do not care as much for him. /o/ Naruto, but all OCs. Some chapters are sexually themed, because yay. Leave me alone I haven't uploaded anything in foreverrrrrr.
1. Candy

Kashii held his breath, the handle of a kunai gripped between his teeth. He held himself suspended at least fifteen feet from the ground, flat against a wall. Any time now. It was getting close to five, the building would be opening. His job was to infiltrate silently and assassinate the director inside. Naturally, everyone else from the building was fodder as well, but insects tend to scatter when their "queen" was taken out. So she was the primary target, though anyone in his way would get killed too.

A few more minutes and the door below him clicked open. He waited a few moments for the body to emerge, and dropped, switching the kunai to his right hand. The man's throat was slit before the two bodies had a chance to fully hit the ground, and Kashii darted inside before the door could close and lock.

The first thing that hit him was the smell. Formaldehyde, a strong-smelling preservation fluid. He sneered at the stench. So the profile had been right. He had to discover the nature of the experiments occurring here. Arming his fingers with more weaponry, he moved silently, scouting out the territory. He'd need to find a place to hide until the building was mostly vacated and the lights went out. Killing the director was the main objective of the mission, to begin breaking up the experiments here, but he needed to learn the nature of the experiments as well.

Finding a storage room, he let himself in, finding an old wooden crate to stay in until it was time to do his work. The area was rather dark, especially inside the crate. He could watch out the slats easily. He just had to wait until the lights went out. The floor of the crate was lined with straw, the musty scent telling him it was rather fresh. His fingers traced ragged claw marks on the inside of the wood. Were they using large animals in their experiments? Tch. He'd salvage what he could when the mission was complete.

Kashii took a seat in the straw, relaxing a little. There would be time yet, at least two hours. He just needed to wait, watch, and listen. Closing his eyes, he focused more on scent and sound, and kept himself alert by thinking. There was a little girl waiting for him to come home. She'd started talking so much now. He was "Papa." Cat was "Kitty." She gave him reason to hold himself together more. He needed to be able to care for her when he got home rather than nursing his own wounds. He'd gotten much more careful. Perhaps he was just getting soft.

There was a sudden, sharp sound. Gold eyes snapped open, and he looked through the gaps of the crate. Someone had entered the storage area. He held his breath, listening, listening. The silhouette in the doorway lit up, and he was momentarily blinded by the light coming on. He could hear the soft footsteps coming towards him, and his eyes adjusted to see a woman wearing a white lab coat coming in. He continued holding his breath, watching through the slats as she walked past the crate he was in and found her object farther in. It was a small, white box. He tried to catch a glimpse of the writing on the side of the box. "GOOSE INC." Goose? His head tilted slightly. He'd heard the term before. Mother Goose. But he couldn't remember where he heard it, just that the name unsettled him. This wasn't a nursery rhyme.

The woman silently left, and he heard the door click behind her. It had been locked. Tch. He sat back, eyes needing to readjust to the darkness. Goose… Goose… he'd research more into it after this mess was over. What little light was in the room dimmed to nothingness. The building was closing. He emerged from his hiding place, brushing the straw from his clothes. The path from here to the door was a right then straight down. Darkness was nothing when you could see the path in your mind. Reaching the door, he turned the knob, reassuring the fact that it was indeed locked. He grinned. Shame he didn't bring his lock-pick kit.

Listening against the door, he confirmed there was no one in the direct vicinity of this area. Gripping the knob with both hands, he twisted until the mechanism cracked, and the knob popped off. Carefully setting it aside, as much as he wanted to toss it, he stuck a kunai into the hole and jammed it through with both hands. He could hear the knob on the other side bounce against the wall opposing the door and clatter onto the floor. He swung the door open.

Kashii flattened himself into the dark corner outside the room. The noise had attracted people. "Who's there?" he heard a male voice call, mid-thirties at best. The beam of a flashlight crossed the darkness, and the man turned into the hall. The beam fell upon the doorknob some feet in front of Kashii, then to the open room. "Hello?" The beam moved again, the guard found himself looking at the torso of a golden-eyed Iwa shinobi, headband glinting with the reflected light. That would be the last thing the guard would see, for a kunai pierced his heart and the shinobi went on the move again. The man didn't even get a chance to scream.

Kashii moved quietly against the walls, stepping quickly and lightly. He flattened against a corner, peeking around with his pocket mirror. No people, but he noticed a blue glow. Turning the corner, he found walls with wide windows in them, a blue glow coming from them. He placed his fingers on the pane of the window, peering in. There were large glass containers, lit from beneath and filled with the blue fluid. So that's where the formaldehyde was coming from. He could see dark masses within the fluid, but before he could discern what was inside them, he saw the reflection of someone much larger than him in the glass. He started to turn to attack, but a large hand clamped over his mouth like iron. The sickly sweet scent filled Kashii's nose and mouth, and he held his breath, trying to pull off the man's strong grip, kunai digging into the man's arm. He barely got a chance to fight back before a knee jammed into his back, and he couldn't help but gasp, inhaling the sweet scent of the chloroform. Someone knew he'd be there. The kunai fell from his grip and skid across the tile floor, and darkness fell upon him.

Kashii's head was pounding when he woke. Blinking to clear his eyes in the bright light, he found himself in a small room. The chill through his skin led him to realize his shirt was gone, and moving led him to realize his arms were bound behind him. They'd stripped him of his weapons. Having realized he was alone, for the moment anyway, he pulled himself into a sitting position. Gold eyes scanned around the room. It appeared to be an examination room. But there were no instruments visible that one would normally find, just a counter, sink, and steel table on one side. Must have been the closest convenient room to toss him in.

He pulled at his bonds. They were tight, biting into his skin. "Fuck..." He looked around again, then awkwardly pulled himself to his feet. He realized that there was no door in this room. There was a large mirror on the opposite wall to the counter, and he instantly realized that it was a two-way looking glass. He was being watched. He grit his teeth and spun, lashing a kick out to the glass. At contact his leg jarred, as if he'd just struck a solid slab of concrete. He stumbled back and growled, staring at his reflection in the mirror. Not only did they know he was coming, they'd been prepared. Had his client set him up for a trap? "Fuuuckkk..." A buzzing click came from overhead, and he looked up to see an intercom. It was deep, but Kashii recognized the voice of a woman. A bright light came on on the other side of the glass, and behind his reflection he could make out the face of his target, Hotaru. His gaze darkened.

"Welcome, shinobi of the Rock, we've been expecting you."

"What tipped you off?" he growled at her.

"I believe I'll be the one asking questions here."he growled again, seeing the shape move away from the glass and disappearing behind the reflective surface."What's your name?"

"Seto Kaiba." he sneered back. There was a sound of rustling papers.

"According to the file, _Kaiba-san,_ your name is Namame Kashii."Kashii grit his teeth harder. He'd been completely set up. "Does the name 'Minami Sen' ring any bells for you?"Fuck... that was the name of the man who'd hired for help. It had all been a trap. He could _hear_ the smile in her voice. For the first time, he noticed the smell in the room. Rather, the distinct _lack_ of smell. The stink of formaldehyde was gone. He glanced around at the ceiling. He could see a series of holes there, and a small latch gate. That was the only entrance, it looked like. The facts didn't quite add up, why did this trap room look like an exam room? He swallowed; it was likely that he did not want to find out.

"What will you do with me?" he asked, having no tricks up his sleeve. Something needed to happen or he may well be trapped down there. He needed to get his hands free, and he'd like to use an easier method than what he had in mind. A new scent met his nose, and he glanced upward again to see a light mist spraying from the holes overhead. When the cool droplets hit his skin, there was a hot, itching sensation, and with his hands bound, he could not scratch it. He didn't want to know what chemical that was. He hunched, steeling himself, he would not react to such a petty thing.

"We'll leave a message for you to take back to your superiors is all. No harm, no foul."She spoke with a pleasant tone. He'd killed two of her men already. "No harm no foul" his ass. He felt something drop onto his back, and then a lot of somethings. They crawled all over him, and he saw small black beetles crawl across his stomach. He bit back a gasp, seeing more and more of the tiny insects flooding in from the hatch he'd spotted before. _Aburame._ How could he forget.

He rammed his back into a wall when they started biting into his skin. He'd never personally fought an Aburame, but he'd heard tell of their capabilities with the kikaichu insects. In some ways, they were even scarier than the Kamizuru clan native to Iwa. Some of the kikai fell to the floor, but many were already starting to dig in. Leaving a message right into his hide was more like it. Despite the pain, his head raised to grin broadly at his reflection in the mirror. "It's bad luck to hurt a pretty face, you know." The intercom clicked on again.

"We have plenty of pretty faces, yours is unnecessary to add to the collection." Why would someone take that seriously. "Rrgh.." despite himself, the pain from the insects trying to destroy him was strong. He could feel blood trickling from the deeper wounds, and there were more floating in. The room was starting to look like he'd knocked down a bees nest, but instead of bees, it was filled with much more dangerous insects that craved his blood. The scree of their wings filled his ears. He just didn't have time to fuck around here. They could strip a man of their flesh in minutes. She was merely toying with him. He just didn't have that kind of time.

The pain was instantaneous, and a loud crack cut through the sound of the insects. The pain clouded his eyes but he didn't look away from his reflection, and he yanked his hands free of the binds. Left hand held at an odd angle, he yanked it back into place, forming the handsigns needed to cast Tetsu Funsai Kikku. The entirety of the swarm fell upon him. He yelled out when they bit in, and rammed against the mirrored window. Now Garourentouda.. One kick, two kicks. The glass cracked. He twisted, and landed a powerful blow to the crack with his heel, and the window shattered. He grabbed the frame and jumped into the room, jagged glass leftover slicing into his hands. The woman he had seen before when he'd been in the crate was in here, and she screamed, clearly not a combat type. Irrelevant. He'd created weapons now, and grabbed a large glass shard and hurled it at her, embedding it deep into her torso in one moment.

One down. About six million and one to go. He wouldn't be able to stop the kikaichu, he had to get out of there. He heard chuckling behind him as the assistant fell, and he lashed out again, his punch missing when she stepped back. The glass crunched under his shoes, and he grabbed another large shard, charging at her.

On impact, the woman exploded, color fading to countless more black beetles. He gasped, ramming into the wall, the glass cutting through his hands and biting into his torso. An insect clone. It earned him nothing more than new injuries and more kikaichu tearing at his flesh. There was a door. A door! The black swarm got too think for him to see. He landed a heavy kick on the door. The frame cracked, but it did not open. Locked. He rammed harder with his shoulder, and it flew open.

Once free, he all but vanished. He had to run. Faster, faster! He had to get out of there, he was going to get killed. About now would be a good time to have his weapons. He had paper bombs in there. The sounding alarm let the remainder of the staff in the building know of his presence. Fuck fuck fuck! He could outrun the insects, but who knew if there were other shinobi here. He had been told otherwise, but upon finding the mission was rigged, the info he had been supplied with could be considered garbage.

Beforehand Kashii had studied a map containing the layout of the building, but as he coursed through the halls seeking the exit, it became increasingly apparent that he had no idea where he was going. The layout did not match the map he'd been given. Kashii could hear pursuit behind him. Not that he'd be particularly hard to find at this point, what with the trail he was leaving. He needed to stop the blood. He needed his things. God damnit, if only Cat was here. It was surprising how he'd come to rely on the little beast. Sometimes it was nice knowing someone has your back. That had never been a feeling he'd coveted before. If he couldn't protect his own back, then how could he rely on someone else to? That's how he felt about it. But the large feline proved to be an exceptional partner. Unfortunately, she was at home with Shi and Saiko. He had plenty of blood to spare for a summoning, but none of his moles were combat-types. Rufus was too small, Jitters would get killed, and Behemoth was much too large to even fit in this hall.

Kashii came across one of the rooms with the blue formaldehyde containers, and shattered the window, gaining access. These rooms seemed to be used for experimentation, which meant there had to be some nifty tools he could use to gain an advantage. He crashed himself into the nearest tank, upsetting it from its pedestal and knocking it down. He jumped back away to be clear of it when it hit the floor and shattered. From inside the tank fell what appeared to be a hairless lion, the body smacked against the floor, twitched, and lay still. The smell was awful. He avoided getting splashed but the large amount of fluid on the floor came up to his shoes. If that got on him, he may as well have stayed back in the room for all the good it would have done him.

His pursuers entered the room through the window, slipping on the glass and fluid, smacking into the formaldehyde. They sputtered and flailed. The poison worked its way in their systems through the cuts from the broken glass and accidental ingestion. That took care of some of them. His eyes darted around the room. There had to be SOMETHING here... Ah! There was a roll of cloth on the work table. Grabbing hold, he ripped off strips with his teeth. He didn't have time. Tying off the places that were bleeding the worst, he left the room, noting the contents he had seen. Judging by the mutilated form of that lion, which was likely what occupied the crate he was in, they were conducting heavy experiments. He was lucky to not have found humans in those tanks, but he was pretty sure there were some in another part of the building.

Kashii rubbed his eyes. The smell in the room burned his eyes, his nose, his mouth, and he was getting light headed. But he'd taken down some of them. Met with a fork in the hall, he didn't know which way to go. Oh, how he wanted to blast through the wall. But that required his bombs, which were tucked away in the vest he'd brought along. See, this was why he didn't wear his uniform. Shit always happens when he does. He veered left. He didn't like being unarmed. He should have brought a shard of glass with him, but at this point, he didn't figure he could even hold it if he had.

The sharp sound of kikaichu filled his ears. Wrong way! He stopped quickly, turning tail and slipping on a streak of red. He needed to stop bleeding. But he didn't really have the time to try, did he? He hated being the cornered mutt. But a cornered cur is exactly the kind of beast you would never want to fight. Someone came around the corner as he came up on it; this time another woman. She carried a strange weapon. He didn't give it a second thought, he couldn't stop in mid-run. He jumped her, one hand on her chin and the other fisted in her hair, then twisted until he heard that sick _crack_. Letting go, he scooped up the weapon and fled, finding a window. This was not the same floor he'd started on. But now was not a time to find a path to the ground floor. Ramming through the window, he jumped out towards the ground, broken glass adding even more fun to his battered body. Kashii's body hit the ground with a crunch into the loose gravel, and he skidded to a stop. Pain, so much pain. But he couldn't stop now. He had to keep moving. He had to leave. _Now._

By the time he slowed to a walk, he realized he was no longer being pursued. So that was the message she was leaving him with,eh? He stopped to catch his breath, stopping to look at the weapon in his hand for the first time. It had a handle with a strange trigger mechanism. When he pulled it, a stream of fluid sprayed out from the tip of a large hypodermic needle attached to the barrel. That seemed to be a painful way to administer an injection, he mused. The fluid inside was the same blue as that in the tanks, and with the same smell. Formaldehyde again.

"Tch..." Mission failed or success? He had no answer for that. He'd gotten the information he was looking for, but the hunter had become the hunted and he had to flee without killing his target. He needed to stay alive. Right now, that was the most important thing, even if it meant failing. He really had become soft, hadn't he? Coming across a stream that cut through the border of the small village, he fell into it, allowing the icy water to splash over him and numb his skin. He still had travel to do before he got back to Iwa.

It was well past dark by the time he'd reached the western gate of the village. He'd make his report in the morning. For now...

Making it through the checkpoint, he headed towards the hospital, smiling behind a veil of disheveled cobalt hair. Going to the hospital so willingly instead of going home and licking his wounds... Just how much had he changed? Little girls have a way of changing a man in ways one would never understand. She was his candy in this world of bitterness. He gripped the strange weapon tighter, thinking about the information that would need to be in the report to the Tsuchikage.

"Fuck..."


	2. Leverage

It was time.

He'd been observing the Namame male for some time now, tracking his comings and goings, identifying those closest to him, all the while maintaining a comfortable distance. It wasn't difficult. Children rarely earned the scrutiny an elder would receive upon coming upon the village gates. Now that the male had left the village for his latest mission, _he_ could begin his.

He approached the walls of the property, wasting no time with subtlety as he leapt over the wall. The mask of innocence was no longer required; his intentions would be clear soon enough.

"Someone's coming."

Shi glanced toward the front door, watching the feline's ears twitch in her peripherals. The chakra signature approaching was unfamiliar, and Kashii wasn't there to expect guests.

"Saiko, come."

She searched for signs that their unexpected guest had friends as she picked up the toddler. The situation didn't sit well with her. Who comes to a man's house when you know he won't be there?

The soft _thunk _of a senbon embedding into the wood was followed immediately by the whisper of burning paper, giving the occupants just enough time to take cover. Shi turned, shielding Saiko from the blast and the inevitable shrapnel. When she glanced back there was a child standing on the threshold, the faintest smirk tugging at his otherwise blank face. "Good. You've already got the child."

Nao stepped through the threshold when a tawny blur barreled toward him, intent on tearing out his throat. His mission was very nearly completing itself at this rate. Fingers closed around the snarling beast's throat, ignoring the bite of claws as he brandished the kunai, shoving the blade into the yowling beast. A few quick slashes later his hands and face were spattered with tangy red and the beast fell the ground, one chakra-laced stomp putting it out of commision for good. '_First objective complete.'_

He stepped over the beasts body, sizing up his next targets. The child was no threat, the girl holding the crying creature would not be underestimated though. Mistress wanted them both, and she would have them.

"You will come with me."

Shi shifted her hold on the child in her arms. Saiko would be a definite handicap, but she couldn't afford to let her get out of arm's reach.

"We'll see."

Shi bolted from the room, plucking her sash from the table on her way. As loath as she was to run she needed time to come up with a strategy. The shuriken she hurled behind her exploded on impact but she didn't hear any sign that she'd injured him. '_Figures...' _She tied the sash around the girl quickly, fashioning a makeshift sling that would hold the toddler securely enough to free her arms.

A pale blur darted into her peripherals and she spun, the knee she aimed for his abdomen blocked easily. She blocked the fist with one hand, tugging at the sling so that Saiko would be against her back with the other.

With any chance of grabbing the child for a quick resolution dashed Nao was forced to calculate how best to end the conflict with minimal injury. He didn't need the trouble of carrying the both of them. It would be much better if they could move of their own accord. Strict hand-to-hand combat would be best.

The pair traded blows, neither surprised with the skill presented by the other. Shi had been a capable fighter when she was the boy's age and accustomed to fighting larger opponents, and she was restricted in ways the enemy was not. She'd have been disappointed if he _didn't_ present a challenge. Still, Shi had something this boy did not. She was _angry_. This brat had invaded her home and attacked her _family_. That would _not_ go unpunished.

He dodged the blow aimed for his head, crimson eyes widening faintly when the wall where her fist struck and a large portion surrounding it was obliterated, the force knocking him off balance. It was all she needed to grab ahold of him, spinning to build up momentum before throwing the boy outside.

"Cat!" A soft yowling noise assured her that the beast was alive and she nodded, satisfied. She didn't have time to feel much else before the boy made an appearance and she darted out after him, hurling a kunai.

The blade was deflected by a cloud of black that erupted from the boy's arm, the explosion killing a good number of buzzing pests that were quickly replaced.

Nao ordered the small cloud to part, the swarm circling the pair. "These insects will chew through that child's paper-thin flesh and work into her organs long before you come up with a method to defend her from them."

Shi scowled, thinking of her options. There weren't many explosion techniques designed against insects. Her area of expertise was demolition, not _pest control_. "What do you want."

"You and the child will accompany me to Tetsumura village to meet with my Mistress." He attempted a pleasant smile. "Come peacefully and neither of you will come to harm."

Shi snorted and pulled the sling around to the front of her body. Having Saiko at her back was no longer tactically sound. "If you harm a hair on the girl's head you'll be going back to your mistress in pieces."

The smile was genuine then.

"Of that I have no doubt." He drew some wire from a pouch at his back, pre-made into slim nooses. He lifted one, gauging the girl's reaction. "I can use the insects, if you prefer."

Shi set her jaw. "Get it over with, bozu."

Nao slid the noose over the girl's head first, casually lifting the messy braid out of the way. The child was more troublesome, apparently not keen on the new fashion accessory.

Shi glowered at the male, muttering curses as she dried the girl's tears. "Hush, little pup. Everything will be fine."

Saiko looked up to Shi, clinging when her arms came close. She didn't know what was going on, just that lots of scary things were happening, her ears were pounding, and Shi-neechan was upset.

"Neechan?"

She sniffled, shrinking away from the young male as the wire slipped around her neck.

"'_m scared…"_

"I know." She undid the sling, retying it to make it more comfortable for her. "I'm here."

Nao observed the interaction with little interest.

"Shall we?"

They followed after the diminutive male, making their way off the property. The wire was thin, barely noticeable to the untrained eye. It was irksome, but the weight was mostly in the mind. '_Figures the one time that idiot isn't around there are leashes involved...'_

They followed a winding route toward the village gates, avoiding others as much as possible. "Causing a scene would be regrettable on your part." Violet eyes stayed aimed forward. "..." Unfortunately, getting out was easy enough, especially for some kids running an errand. Keeping the threats from getting _in_ was the gate's main purpose.

"Shi!" Jun's paws hit the debris-scattered floor with a soft _thud_, his claws flexing as he scented the stranger on the air and the obvious signs of battle. Fortunately-or perhaps unfortunately-there was only one scent of blood in the air, and it was his sisters. "Cat..." He found his sister broken in the decimated foyer, meowing softly and licking at her ear. "Sister…"

Cat almost didn't hear him, heart pounding in her ears. But when she did, her claws flexed into the stained tatami. "_...took them…" _Her words were hardly more than a mew. Jun licked a few flecks of blood from her nose. "Tell me…" A heavy breath, and she screeched. "He _TOOK THEM_!" Her claws ripped at the floor, unable to do anything with the mess her body was in. "Go after them! He took them!" Despite how worried he was about Cat, Jun didn't need to be told twice, and tore away from the property, following the fresh trail as fast as his paws could carry him.

When he first caught sight of his Shi they were still within the village walls, and didn't appear harmed, though he could hear the kit's occasional whimpers. Not harmed, but certainly not pleased. '_Shi...'_ He kept his distance, aware that he would likely be recognized by the enemy if he went into the open. He couldn't do anything to endanger his girls. When the light shifted he caught sight of the razor-thin wire that he'd grown very used to seeing in among Kashii's things, leading to the girl's throats. One wrong move, one strong pull, and there would be nothing he could do. The risk was too great. He needed to wait for the proper opportunity to strike. Fortunately, his master had trained him well in the art of patience, and he was a hunter at heart. Waiting for the right moment is always crucial to getting your kill. So he waited, and he watched, and he followed.

Every step away from the village had his hackles raising, his growl inaudible as he stalked the group from a distance. He didn't like this. His sister could be dying, his Shi and the kit were captured, and _dog-boy _was away on a mission, useless to all of them. Jun did _not_ like this. He was a good fighter, but he was still only a cat. He wasn't meant to play the hero. He was supposed to scout territories and collect intelligence. Rescuing damsels was _completely _out of his field of expertise. That wouldn't stop him trying if the opportunity presented itself, but in all likelihood his Shi was already preparing to save _herself_ when that opportunity arose. She wasn't a damsel anymore than he was a hero, after all.

The trek to Tetsumura was long and the male leading the girls was apparently impatient, because they did not stop for rest. He only paused briefly to allow the kit to relieve herself, and only to avoid more crying from the sound of it. His Shi remained strong as always, but the enemy was not as foolish as his age would suggest, and all too soon the little group was on their way again.

Jun kept to the outskirts when they reached the village, collecting information on the place. Barging in would be useless, only an idiot would do so. If he could find a crack in their defenses, he could find a way to help. If nothing else he could defend the kit long enough for Shi to destroy their enemies, hopefully leaving enough for him to sink his claws into. There _would_ be blood for this.

Hotaru paused mid-sentence when the small beetle entered her range of awareness. She held her hand up to the man she'd been conversing with to stop him from speaking, and looking towards the direction of the entranceway. "Prepare yourselves," she said. "The welcoming ceremony is about to begin."

Hotaru was glad to be rid of the man and attend to her other duties. The brunt of the force would not need to be here until Namame arrived. Her company was no more than a handful of people. The man she'd been instructing was Hasuo Iwao, one of the heads of organization of this area. The rest were grunts that worked under him. He'd be in charge of babysitting while preparations were made to welcome their young guests. Adachi was one of hers. What a wonderful reunion it would be; the effects of release varied from child to child, but doing so before feeding her to the wolf would prove for an excellent display.

When the pawns were in place, she waited patiently for Nao to arrive with his prey, hands folded behind her back. It wouldn't be long now. It didn't take long for the presence of the new players to approach, and she greeted her guests when they arrived in the warehouse. "You've done well, Nao," she said to the boy, gaze shifting to the two girls that accompanied him. All three unharmed. Executed perfectly; she'd expected Adachi to put up at least _some_ fight.

"Welcome back, my dear, to Mother Goose."

* * *

**This chapter written mostly by KatSin. Cat, Saiko, and Hotaru are my characters. Nao, Shi, and Jun belong to her.**


	3. Save Me

"Cat!"

Dave had been the first person he'd contacted. His house was blown apart in the front area. It had been instantly noticeable. The blood splattered across the tatami and the bloodied pile of wheezing fur told him that things had not gone well. But most of all, they were gone. Saiko and Shi weren't here. The ragged breath of the cat was the only sound in the room. Kashii swooped in on her, scooping her up in his arms, and took off at top speed, holding her tight against his chest. He ached to go after the girls, but at this very moment, Cat's life was critically more important. He wasn't about to lose another companion he'd grown to love, but she could also tell him about what happened, and that information would be crucial.

Kashii was exhausted by the time he reached Dave's place. He rammed the door open with his shoulder, not even bothering to knock. "Dave!" he called out. "Dave… I need you." The man appeared with a rather worried expression, dressed in his nightclothes. Kashiii _never_ barged in like that unless something was desperately wrong. The last time it had happened was when the Nishimura girl… his eyes took in the sight in his entranceway. The boy himself was injured terribly, covered in strange lacerations and what seemed to be a chemical burn, among other injuries. But Dave's eyes traveled downward the the bloody mess soaking his abdomen, and it became all too apparent what Kashii's needs were.

"Damnit kid, I'm not a vet…"despite saying that, he took the creature from Kashii's arms and brought her to the kitchen, resting her upon the island counter. She'd been slashed open, it looked like her ribcage had been broken by a powerful blow. Dave got to work immediately on repairing the animal. At the end of the day, blood was blood, flesh was flesh. There really wasn't much of a difference. "What happened?" Usually, he didn't care much. But something seemed wrong, the boy looked panic-stricken. "I.. I found my house completely tore up. Cat was the only one there. The outer wall had been blasted out… I think that was Shi's doing. Someone took my student and my daughter." Dave's expression soured as he worked on repairing the cat.

"Go take a shower," he said. "Get cleaned up. You know where to find the spare things. I need to take a look at you too." Kashii begrudgingly agreed, trudging off to the deeper parts of the older man's home. It would do the girls no good to go after them like this, and he needed Cat to be okay.

By the time Kashii was dressed, in clothes that were slightly too large (Dave always kept things around, Kashii had a habit of showing up in the past all torn up), Cat was becoming more stable. Dave had set her rib bones in place, smaller animal bones easier to set than thicker human ones. She was conscious when he moved back to the kitchen. "Kashii!" she wheezed. "He took them!" Holding her down, Dave injected her with a sedative. "He took them!" He continued to hold her down until she stopped thrashing about. "He." That indicated that there was only one. He lowered himself to Cat's level, gently stroking her between the ears. "What happened, Cat?"

She wheezed, no longer looking upset, and stared at him with dead eyes. "He took them." Kashii stroked her again. "Who took them?" Dave continued working to mend the flesh, sprinkling powder into the wound to increase blood production. "A… a boy. White hair. Red eyes. _Aburame._" Kashii's eyes flashed, a cold yellow stare. _No… _"Did he say _anything_?" That Cat had been left alive meant it was on purpose. She coughed. "...north. Tetsumura." Kashii cursed under his breath, biting his thumbnail. Tetsumura village was a day's travel due north. It was a small village, abandoned many years ago, when Kashii was young. He had no doubt this boy had something to do with Hotaru, the woman he had been assigned to assassinate on his false mission.

When the skin on top was mended, Kashii pressed his nose against her furry head. "Rest. I'll take care of it from here." He turned to leave, but he found a big hand gripping his shoulder. Kashii was yanked back onto a stool. "Not so fast, kid. Shirt off." Tch. He didn't have time, but he did as told. With the grime from his previous mission washed off, the real damage could be seen. Dave walked around the boy's body, shifting the damp pony aside to get a good look at his back especially. Despite the calm face Kashii was wearing, it looked like half his skin had been put through a meat grinder. There was no way he wasn't in pain right now.

Spotting something black inside the wounds, Dave retrieved a pair of tweezers from his kit, and extracted a small, black beetle. Well, he frowned grimly, source of damage identified. When its legs wriggled, he dropped the creature to the floor, crushing it under his foot. Dave continued to peer around the wounds. He found about four other kikaichu ground into the wounds on Kashii's back, thankfully all dead, as well as removed some small shards of glass. He didn't really question how it had happened; the boy would often drop by straight home from missions for patching up. But this time was different.

When Kashii's entire body had been cleared of the foreign objects, Dave retrieved a salve from one of the shelves, applying it liberally to the bluenette's skin. Aside from the sharp hiss, Kashii paid no mind to the treatment. Dave was concerned, however. These chemical burns were highly corrosive. It could have been poisonous. He didn't know what kind of chemical he'd been burned with, but he rummaged through his supplies, finding a powder antidote. Grabbing a glass from the cupboard and filling it part way with water, he mixed the powder in, handing it off to Kashii. "Drink it." Kashii did as told, setting the glass aside. It had been bitter. "General antidote," Dave clarified.

When he finished, Dave tossed the borrowed clothes back at Kashii. "Get dressed and leave. But do not go in blindly. Return home and prepare yourself." Kashii nodded. "Mm." He stepped into the pants and pull the shirt over his head, shifting the loose clothes into place. They were really only a size or two too large, but on a compact frame like his, it showed. "... Do you need me to come with you?"_Probably._"No, I need to do this on my own." Dave's lips pursed. That never ended well. Despite his outward indifference, Dave really did care for the boy. He had no doubt that something reckless was going to transpire. "Watch Cat for me while I'm gone." Dave watched as the young jounin left.

"What do you think, girl?" He glanced at the sedated animal on his counter. "... go with him." That's what he thought. Cleaning up the mess, Dave started packing a travel kit. He'd shadow Kashii from behind. If he wasn't needed, fantastic. If he was, well, he'd be right there. It was late, but he no longer felt tired, merely concerned. He went to get dressed, then prepared a sling to carry the feline in, heading out into the early night. He'd take the cat to Akira's house, a fellow medic who lived nearby. Akira was a kind soul, he'd take care of the animal until Dave got back.

Kashii could do nothing but curse and berate himself. Yet again, because he had not been there when he was needed most, they had been taken from him. Dead? It was certainly a possibility. It was taking all of his willpower not to completely rampage. He had to save those girls. Now was not the time to cloud his head with rage.

When he reached home, Kashii merely entered through the large blast hole, hunting for his things. He changed into his more comfortable attire, retying the rust-colored band around his forehead, and retying a proper, tight braid at the base of his neck. Shuffling around, he located his wire spool, and prepared weapons to fit into the many holsters that lined his size-too-large jacket. He was going to go in armed at the teeth. Kashii snagged his two swords and affixed them to his belt. He'd take all his cards, even the joker. He'd do whatever it took to save those girls. He eyed the salve Dave had given him, but ultimately decided not to take it. It's not like he'd stop to rub it in. Affixing his knife to the small of his back, he set off, unwilling to rest from the day's hardships.

North. They had traveled north. Much to Kashii's reluctance, he stopped at the northern waypoint once he'd made it passed the mountain. He needed rest. He wasn't so stupid as to think he'd be any help dead on his feet. A night of missed sleep never killed him but he'd directly come home from a very trying job. He had to be smart about this. Rushing around blindly would not help anyone. Two lives that were very important to him were hanging in the balance, and he wouldn't let his own rashness be what ends them.

It had only been a handful of hours when Kashii awoke. It appeared that dawn had only just broken. He thanked the man who awoke him, as requested, and cracked his neck, setting out once more. It may have not been much, but it was enough to make him feel as if he could take on an army. Little did he know, however, that he may just have to.

The fact that they'd left Cat alive, and that she'd been told of the girls' whereabouts no doubt meant they were using them as bait to lure him out. The girls should be safe until he arrived. After all, they would need him to cooperate with whatever they wanted, and that would be rather hard to do if he had no incentive. He cursed at the thought. He just had to hope he was right. He took off at a fast pace, intent on reaching the small village by late this afternoon.

Dave followed him at quite a distance, barely bothering to keep him in view. He knew the destination, there was no need to stick close. The rest at the station had been ideal for both of them, but it was Kashii who needed it far more than he did. Dave's combat abilities were mostly a joke, his specialties lay in healing. He'd stay out of it unless there was truly a need to intervene.

When he neared the village, he nicked his finger, summoning his molerat. The startled beast was scooped up without explanation, Kashii never once slowing down. He needed to know where people were. "Stay alert." he hissed at the creature. Rufus grunted. Of course. He was only summoned for one purpose. He kept his whiskers alert, sensing the air for any hint of chakra. Luckily for Dave, he was outside of the molerat's range.

A breeze stirred up the dry dust when Kashii arrived. As expected, there wasn't a soul around. Rufus put his nose to the wind. He could smell nothing. But he could feel chakra stirring. "That way," he said, pointing a small paw towards a decrepit warehouse. Kashii took in the appearance of the warehouse. The wood had rotted away in some places. His eyes narrowed. Rather cliché, wasn't it? He slipped a hand into his pocket, shifting his weight to one leg. He couldn't really make a plan for things he couldn't expect. He had to expect the unexpected. He hated those kinds of situations. "Tch…"

He just had to march in with his head held high. He kept his senses alert, and shoved the small animal down into his jacket, zipping it up part way so Rufus could hide. He placed a hand on the wakizashi at his hip, and headed towards the warehouse. He could sense another person nearby, but the sensation was not aggressive. Probably a scout, waiting to confirm his arrival. The chakra signature disappeared as soon as he had felt it. He definitely was in the right place. Stopping in front of the door, he peered up at the wall. There was absolutely nothing remarkable. No signs of traps. That, of course, meant jack shit.

Taking a step back, he battered the door with a powerful kick, and the hinges tore free of the decayed wood, door flying into the dark space. He heard a string snap, an an array of kunai buried themselves at his feet in the entrance of the doorway. As if anyone would think a petty trick like that would work. Drawing his blade, Kashii stepped into the darkness.

Hotaru stood in the center of a darkly lit space. The man had entered the premises, the warehouse only a cover for the much larger underground cavity. He'd be forced to enter that chamber if he wanted to continue. When his figure appeared in the entrance, she smiled warmly over her dark frames. "Welcome, Namame Kashii."

At the sound of that woman's voice, Kashii's guard raised like an iron wall, the hairs on his arms prickling. So he'd been right. He released the summon, the molerat disappearing in a puff from his clothes. He'd found his target, there was no need for Rufus to stay here. It's not like he'd be of any help. He flicked his blade when it reflected the poor light, falling into a stance that said he was ready to attack at any moment. "Where are Shi and Saiko?" he asked, venom in his tone.

She only smiled in return. "They're safe. It's no fun to put on a show without an audience, is there?" His teeth grit and his blade raised when the lights flicked on, temporarily blinded. "Shit…" When his eyes adjusted, he found himself in a room lined with dozens of individuals, male and female alike, of all ages from ten to forty at least. All of them were armed with weapons, and all of those weapons were pointed at him. He spared a wide, crooked smile. Things were certainly in his favor, weren't they? And across the way, held behind Hotaru, were his student and his daughter. They were safe, unbound, with the child held tightly in Shi's arms. A muscular man held the older girl by her arm, disallowing her her freedom. His cold yellow eyes regained their warmth when he saw them safe. But by what this woman said, that status may change very quickly.

Hotaru slipped her dark glasses off, sliding them into the pocket of her white-and-blue coat. Her crimson eyes bored into his own gold, and she extended her hand to him, palm out. Instantly he was thrown into darkness. The smell of blood permeated the air. He took a step back, sword lowering. "What…?" Suddenly, pain. Pain everywhere. Faces contorted around him. This was just like one of his nightmares. "No…" But he knew he wasn't asleep. He saw images of himself darting forward, running through his loved ones with a crazed grin on his face. His parents. His brother. Mari. Abe. Shi. Kotone. Saiko. With each thrust of his blade, he became more and more coated with their blood. When the last one fell, Kashii's image finally stilled before standing straight, slicking its hair back with the blood that coated it. "You see?" the copy said in Hotaru's voice. "Think of what could of happened if you didn't come."

More images coated his mind, particularly strong memories of sins he had committed. The frightened faces of children he'd crushed. The crying faces of women he'd run through. The disbelieving eyes of men he'd torn apart. Enemies were enemies. He'd turned his blade on former comrades before. The look of betrayal when he cut them down. It had been their fault anyway, right? "Now just imagine how your loved ones look at you." He clutched his head. "STOP IT!" he yelled. The images turned to Shi and Saiko, uncharictaristically terrified looks on their faces. "Do you truly believe they're happy to see you?" The darkness lifted, and he found himself in the chamber again, staggering to keep himself upright.

The sounds of bowstrings tightening brought his attention back to the girls. There was indeed worry. Saiko's face was red and puffy. She'd been crying. Kashii stalked towards the woman, intent on taking her out. She merely raised a finger at him, shaking it. "Tut tut." He froze in his steps, the archers pointing their arrows away from him and directly at the girls. Reluctantly, he sheathed his blade.

"Be mine," she offered to him, "Or lose them. It's your call." He snarled in response. He shot a glance passed her at them. Really, he didn't need to be asked twice. Stuffing his pride, he sank to one knee in the dirt, opposing fist pressing in beside it. He bowed his head in submission, eyes on the footprints in the dirt. "Such an obedient dog you are," she purred. He heard the archers lower their weapons. If Kashii did what she wanted, then they should be free to go. He could only hope.

Kashii heard a katana slide from its sheath, the woman had been hiding it under her long coat. The flat of the cool blade slid under his chin, tipping his head so that he'd look up at her. He bared his fangs but made no move. In this position, she could slit his throat in an instant. Hotaru studied the man's face with amusement. Men were such manipulatable creatures. Disgusting pigs. She admired her handiwork, the patchwork across his face a testament to the chemical burns he'd received at the lab. Shifting the blade to the side of his cheek, she tilted his head, the evidence of the damage he'd sustained from her kikaichu showing just under his collar. The blade shifted until the edge pressed into his skin, cutting in until the blood dripped from his jaw. Still, his expression did not change, eyes looking directly up at hers. Not so much as a blink. She smirked in amusement, pulling her blade back and cleaning it on his shoulder. "So well trained, too. Many men could learn a lesson from you, Namame Kashii."

He watched the silver of her blade as she sheathed it and growled. Toy with him all she liked, when would she release her hostages? Hotaru lowered herself so that she was eye level with him, gripping his chin through the sticky crimson that started to ebb its flow. She stroked her finger along the cut she'd made, turning his face to look directly back at hers. His gaze darkened further. He wanted to shred her. Cut her up in so many tiny, irreparable pieces. She seemed to be examining him. He steeled himself further, knuckles pressing harder into the earth floor. She could do what she liked to him. It didn't matter. He had to protect those girls. She rubbed a streak of crimson across his lip before withdrawing to look at the girls. He licked his lips, the copper taste of his own blood filling his mouth, and finally turned to look at them when Hotaru turned her back on him.

His body ached, wanting so badly to cut into that woman's exposed back and stain that white coat with crimson. Shi watched, jaw clenched, as that proud, idiotic man of a teacher of hers lowered himself into the dirt. She couldn't help but notice he looked injured before even coming here. What images had that woman shown him? Probably ones of a similar nature the Aburame had assaulted her own mind with, and no doubt Saiko's. Dormant memories of her past, some things she didn't know she knew. Memories of people teaching her when she was young, a time in her life that had been completely blacked out until now. Cruel, inexplicable things. She wondered what that idiot could _possibly_ do in this situation. Though, he'd exceeded her expectations before. There was no doubt he'd be able to surprise her again.

Withdrawing a kunai from a holder in her coat, Hotaru signaled the man to let go and step far back, unless he wanted his fingers removed. She grabbed a handful of the child's blue hair, and tugged her head away from Shi's breast, the flat of the blade against Sai's cheek. "It would be a shame if something happened to these children, wouldn't it?" Kashii's fingers flexed in the dirt, resisting the overwhelming urge to rip that bitch into pieces. Saiko started crying again at the feel of the cold blade on her skin. Hotaru released the child, moving around behind Shi. Pulling the long midnight hair together as if to tie it up, Hotaru pulled Shi's head down backwards. Shi flinched visibly at the touch when the woman's cheek brushed her ear. "Has he ever told you how beautiful you are, miss Adachi?" Shi's teeth grit in response. As if that idiot cared to throw such superficial words at _her._

Hotaru allowed the midnight mane slip through her fingers like silk. She tutted. "That's no good, girl. You should answer when spoken to." She turned to Kashii. "Tell me, have you ever felt how soft her hair is, Namame Kashii?" He, too, did not answer. "No? Then you should feel it for yourself." In an instant, the kunai tore through Shi's hair, halving it's original length. She threw the severed mass of hair at him, hitting him in the face. He shook his head, trying to remove the long strands without moving to brush his face off. She was still toying with him, showing him just how much control she had in this situation. "It's nice, isn't it?" she commented warmly, stroking Shi's jaw for no other reason than to increase her discomfort. "Indeed," he returned, smirking.

Putting her hands on the girl's shoulders, she turned Shi to face Kashii directly. "I'll give you your first order then, as my pet." He looked up, not really sure he'd be thrilled to hear this order. "Kill them." She shoved the pair towards him and stepped away. There was a sharp intake of breath, he felt his heart skip a beat. That wasn't part of the deal. Glancing up at the faces of the girls in front of him, he replied defiantly. "No." There was a signal, and the snap of a bowstring, and an arrow embedded itself into the back of his right shoulder. Kashii snarled, lurching forward, chest against his knee and both hands in the dirt. Breathe… breathe… he ran images through his mind of suffering much worse wounds than this, and returned to his original position, the sweat on his face the only betrayal of his stony expression.

"Will your answer still be no, _Namame-san?_" The pleasant ring in her voice as she said his name clicked in his head. There was one other person he knew with long black hair, red eyes, and a pleasant tone. Utsushii Kei, the head administrator at Kusagakure hospital. He cursed, the wound in his shoulder throbbing, the head of the arrow biting in with every breath. "My answer remains," he said calmly. "I refuse." Another arrow found it's way into his right bicep, and he cried out again, clutching his arm tightly this time. "Ahh!...ah.." Despite the urge to rip it out, he left it, sweat mixing with the blood on his cheek and dripping from his face. He breathed heavily through his teeth. Once he'd regained control of himself, Kashii started chuckling, going into full laughter. "Hm?" Hotaru hummed, clearly amused.

"Nice try, bitch," he said to the her, a wild grin on his face. Shakily, he got to his feet, ripping the shaft from his arm and clutching where the blood flowed. "Those girls are the only leverage you have over me. If I lose them, well, heh. I'll have nothing left to lose. Shoot me all you want, you won't win." He grabbed Shi by the neck and pulled her against him, just in time for an arrow to fly harmlessly behind her head and hit another archer. The woman fell. Now the others all had their sights set on him. "You heard him." Hotaru's hand raised in the air, and the sound of dozens of arrows leaving their bows filled the room.

Kashii didn't even spare the time for a curse. He kicked Shi's feet out from under her, knocking her heavily on her back. He dropped over her on all fours, protecting the child held between them. Most of the arrows clattered harmlessly overhead. Some, however, still managed to find their way into his hide. Kashii wheezed when one slipped between his ribs, the taste of blood filling his mouth. "I'll get you two out of here," he promised. Whether they heard him or not, he couldn't be sure. Between the cries of the toddler and the gasps of breath Shi had knocked out of her, they probably didn't.

But now what? The archers were already reloading. Hotaru raised her hand again, and they laxed their weapons, awaiting the next order. "You're an interesting man, Namame Kashii." He coughed to the side, droplets of blood spattering the dirt. "I've heard far better compliments from a sewer rat." He didn't even have the will to laugh. His chest burned and his head felt foggy. The adrenaline rush that usually masked the pain in the heat of combat was not present here. He could feel every puncture, the shape of the arrows in his flesh, the burn of the chemicals, the soreness of the flesh this woman's insects had mangled. Everyone had a limit. And he was getting dangerously close to his.

The warm smile adorning the woman's face fell. "You'll do well to remember what transpired here today, little puppy. If you don't want those visions to become reality, well, I'm sure you know what to do." Glancing around, Kashii saw the shinobi that surrounded them part, revealing the path to the way he had entered. "You may leave. I look forward to meeting you again," she said, the smile creeping back into her voice by the end of the last sentence.

A child with white hair materialized from behind her. Kashii and Shi craned their heads from their positions to look at him, both recognizing him from either experience or description. The complete apathy on his face was commendable. "But what of the plan?" the boy asked, looking up towards Hotaru. She patted him on the head. "He will come to us in due time. This was a good warning." She had made Kashii _painfully _aware how defenseless he really was against a woman like her. He'd come in fully armed, and wasn't even considerable as a threat. All for the sake of those girls. Perhaps some men had _some_ redeemable qualities. A genuine smile curved on her red lips. Like that improved his chances against her.

Unable to even roll off her, Kashii fell hard to the side on his elbow. Never before had he felt such a wave of relief. As the girl squirmed from under him, and got to her feet, Hotaru said one last thing before he lost consciousness. "But the next time I ask you to roll over, _dog_, I expect you do so willingly."

Dave had been moments from bursting in himself when he saw a figure emerge from the door of the warehouse. Adachi came, carrying the burden of her teacher, with the small child toddling along and clinging to her sash. He couldn't help but smirk. That boy was always causing trouble for others, no matter what he did. "Oi," he called, waving his arm and heading towards them. "Bring him here." Shi looked up when she heard the voice, the vaguely familiar man waving at her. She shifted the load on her back and walked towards him.

As he approached the others, Dave realized that the boy on her back was riddled with bolts, feathers at the ends of the shafts. He cursed, jogging up towards them. He hadn't seen them from a distance. He took the limp jounin off the girl's back and kneeled, resting Kashii's weight and checking vitals with his free hand. There was a pulse, but it was weak. The ragged breathing and blood on the lips told him that at least one lung had been damaged. "Damn idiot can't keep himself out of trouble for a single minute, can he?" Saiko clung to the girl's leg, watching her daddy with interest, sniffling the last of her tears away. He slept funny sometimes. "He certainly has a knack for it."

Proper treatment would be impossible, as usual. Dave leaned for his medkit, and threw it open. Digging through some bottles, he withdrew spherical pills and a bottle of water. Tipping Kashii's head back, he forced him to swallow one of the pills. It was a soldier pill. It would increase his chakra flow. Finding another bottle, he next forced Kashii to swallow a blood pill. For the first time, he noticed indigo strands among the cobalt on the boy's head, and plucked one off. He then looked up to Adachi, and noticed that her hair was significantly shorter than it had been before. He merely blinked and said nothing. She looked unhurt, and that was as far as his care went.

Working quickly, he pulled each arrow out skillfully, careful not to rip new chunks of flesh out. Most were in his torso but there was a stray that had embedded into his thigh. What was discerning was that, despite the pain that must have been caused by removing those arrows, the man didn't flinch once. When the arrows were free, he stripped the boy of his heavy jacket, the weapons inside thunking loudly when it was tossed to the ground. Dave held him by the neck and peeled the bloodsoaked shirt away. Shi could see many injuries that patchworked his hide, all fresh and most not related to what he had suffered when he'd arrived here. Irresponsible. His face was streaked with blood, dirt, sweat, and even tears.

Dave wiped away what he could with the soaked shirt. There were still remnants of the salve he'd rubbed on before remained. He shook his head. This kid needed his own personal bloodbank. "One of these days I ought to force him into an early retirement," he said idly, withdrawing a rather large needle and grinning to himself. He squeezed a bit of the fluid out to remove any air bubbles, and injected it into the muscle of Kashii's uninjured shoulder. antibiotic and painkiller, who knows when the kid would wake up.

Saiko grew restless watching the older male work over her daddy. Letting go of Shi, she tottered over, crouching to touch his face. "Papa?" She shook his face when there was no response, but she was pulled away by Shi. "Your father is an idiot. Be sure to never grow up that way," she instructed the child. Sai looked up at her uncomprehendingly, then smiled. "'Kay!"

It took a good amount of time to close the wounds before Dave finished the job. It would take a long time for this to heal, as usual. His fingers traced along the patches of pink that covered the bluenette's skin. His face, torso, and arms had all been patchy. He'd have to create some kind of cream or it would never heal properly. He had some herbs in mind at home, he'd just need to stop by the hospital…

There was a meow from around the side of a building. Jun came tearing out once he was absolutely sure everyone was safe. "Shii!" he called, bounding up to her. "My Shi, you're safe." He butted his head against her hand, rubbing the whole of his body along her legs. She crouched to pat him, then looked idly at the male's discarded jacket. It sounded heavy when it was tossed. She pulled it closer, taking a look at the inside. On both sides, from the zipper to the sides, were many loops and sewn in pockets, lined with countless shuriken, kunai, and spools of wire. Many of the weapons had wires already attached, loops sticking out from the pockets. She found several tags as well. She'd never really seen how well armed he kept himself. She helped herself to a few tags and kunai, it wasn't like he was going to be using them.

But what really caught her attention were the swords he carried. Dave had removed the remaining weapons, the black knife and the two swords. She examined them, taking the shortest blade first. The sheath was simple, made of rough tanned leather, made to affix to a belt. The blade itself was about eight inches long, serrated by the base, and edged near the tip. The metal was a nice onyx color. A useful weapon, it could be used in a variety of situations. She set it aside, grabbing the next one. This one was the tanto. From what she had seen, it was hardly ever drawn. The scabbard was steel, but the tsuka was bound in black-colored ito. It was a far cry from the design on his largest sword though. She examined it closely. The tsuka was steel, bound in black ito with engravings. The tsuba was much more intricate, molded into ornate images of cranes. The scabbard appeared to also be steel, with decorative engravings around the mouth. She considered taking this with her as well, and set it on top of the other weapons she'd selected from the pickings.

She sat back and watched Dave wrap gauze around her teacher. Because of the irregular placing of the wounds, he merely placed the pads where they needed to be and wrapped his entire torso before taping it off. When the arm and the leg were bandaged as well, he wiped his tools, placing them back into his case and tidying it to close. When he stood and started to heft the bluenette onto his back, Shi stopped him. "I'll take him," she said, grabbing a hold of Kashii's limp wrist. She didn't like being in the debt of another. Let alone in the debt of _this _man, in particular. By doing this, she could return the favor. She gathered the weapons she'd selected and tied the wakizashi to her hip. "Are you sure?" Dave asked her, brow raised. Going by what the boy would tell him, she didn't seem to care much for Kashii.

Shi considered her options. Taking the jounin meant slower travel with a heavy burden. But it also meant the medic could take Saiko home to safety much faster. She looked Dave over, debating if this was a favorable option. She'd seen the medic accompanying Kashii on more than one occasion, Kashii trusted him. With reluctance, she guided Saiko over to him. "Take Saiko and his gear." She jutted a thumb towards his belongings on the ground. "Jun." Jun looked up to her. "Go with them and keep her safe." He nodded. "Of course."

Shi waited until they were on the move before looking down at the man on the ground, replaying the events in her head. She crouched, brushing aside some of the cerulean locks. He'd put his life on the line to protect them. He never once abandoned them to fight back. Never once did she ever think she'd see this man sink so low into the dirt to an object of hatred, just to ensure the child's and her own freedom. She knew he'd abandoned others in similar situations. Nobility didn't seem to suit him.

She wondered of the origin to the marks that marred his features. The patches on his face didn't belong there. Shi withdrew her hand when he wheezed. Time to get going. She shifted her weight to pick him up, the sharp gravel digging into her bare soles. She paused, thinking about it. Combined with his weight, it would be unpleasant to walk across the rough landscape. Peering back at the warehouse, she knew that she needed to move out. Shi sat in the dirt, pulling off one of Kashii's shoes and trying it on. Not like he'd have any need for these, either. A little big, but wearable. It was amusing how he was more useful asleep that he was when awake most of the time. She stole the other shoe and grabbed his shoulder, pulling him upright.

Somewhat awkwardly, she shifted his weight onto her back, pulling his arms and head over her shoulders, arms beneath to support his weight. With a heave, Shi stood, shifting to keep him from falling. Despite them being the same size, she realized he was lighter than she'd expected him to be, and gave a slight smirk. How could such a complete lightweight be so confident and dangerous? However, it didn't make the dead weight any less cumbersome.

Kicking the toe of the shoe against the ground to fit it correctly, Shi moved on, mind reeling about the last 24 hours.

The battle with that _boy_ had been difficult enough. Seeing a child able to mangle another without any expression on their face. Well, she'd thought that skill exclusive to herself. Apparently it was a part of the training. '_Cat's tough, and he was supposed to leave her alive. Hopefully she'll be okay.' _The thought of burying either of the felines was painful. People die all the time and it didn't bother her, but they also weren't _hers_. Had she known what awaited them, what she would learn, she would have taken the chance with the bugs. Now that she knew the objective, she wished she had. '_Stupid...'_

Everything she'd known about herself had been a lie. Or at least, out of context. The woman she'd been fooled into believing was her Master _had _been, in a manner of speaking. She'd simply been one of many in the employ of the vicious bug-wielding bitch. Mother Goose. What was worse, every shadowy nightmare she'd ever had turned out to be real. She didn't know whether to feel relieved or disturbed. At least before she could pretend that the shadowy-faced monsters that haunted her in the night were just her imagination. That they couldn't hurt her. She could believe that the other children-Gods, those _children_, how many others had there been? So many tear-stained faces haunted her mind's eye, different ages, different faces, but in the end the same dead look was in their eyes. The same dead look that was in hers.

It confirmed one thing, at least. She wasn't an anomaly. She wasn't born this way. She was created, by _them_. What could she have been if they hadn't taken her? She could have been _normal_. She may have had _a life. _It made her hatred burn. The pain they had caused. The torture, the beatings, the starvation. The ruthless, unending training. They wanted weapons, and they made them. And she was _one of them_.

It wouldn't stop playing in her mind, the images of the things they'd done. Things that were _still_ being done to other children, some not much older than Saiko. Gods, what would they have done to Saiko? That _woman_ had done more than enough. Her cries as the genjutsu warped within her mind had been as agonizing as her own torment, being helpless to prevent the suffering. '_She was __**innocent! **__Why did they have to hurt her?!'_ She'd gladly have endured the punishment for her sake, if she'd been given the chance.

The real agony had been in the waiting. Enduring the sickening looks of those dogs was bad enough, but the mere thought of subjecting Saiko to the horrors they could subject her to… She wouldn't allow it. She would kill every last one of them if they tried to harm her, even if it meant killing themselves as well. It would be _worth it. _The only reason she hadn't done so from the start was the slim hope that Kashii would arrive with reinforcements to save them. That was their purpose after all, they were bait. If things went well, they would be safe until he arrived. _If _he arrived at all. Would he bother coming? Would anyone try to save them? Were two girls worth risking village resources? Apparently not. She was already well aware how little Iwagakure cared for it's children. No one had come to save them when she was a child, she doubted they would come now. Which meant that, unless she could get them out safely on her own, a doubtful prospect, their fate rested solely on the shoulders of Namame Kashii. In short, they were screwed.

'_And yet...' _She glanced over her shoulder at the weight she carried. '_He __**did**_ _come for us. Alone, the idiot, but he came.'_

She supposed she shouldn't have expected any finesse to his rescue operation. Not Namame Kashii. If it didn't involve running headfirst into trouble, it didn't have his stamp of approval on it. They were fortunate that it had worked, this time. It led her to wonder about the point of it. What did the bluenette blunder possibly have to offer their organization? They had plenty of muscle-bound idiots on their side. Hell, they had more than enough berzerkers as well. So why Kashii? Why was he worth coming out into the open and risking everything? Did that _woman_ simply enjoy playing games that much? '_Foul, bug-spewing bitch...'_ The occasional tug of pain at her scalp reminded her of her new haircut, deepening the scowl. What was the _point?_ She went to all that effort to catch him, and let him go. Sure, she'd be watching, and they would always have to watch their backs, but it struck her as odd. Whatever the evil wench was plotting, Shi couldn't _wait_ to find a way to make it blow up in her face. Preferably with a good deal of shrapnel aimed directly at the eyes.

Darkness. No sound, no light, no smell. He couldn't even hear his own voice. It was deafening. The only thing he had was his sense of touch. He was uncomfortable in his own skin. His chest was on fire, his limbs were pins and needles, his head pounding. A few steps forward, and he felt himself hit the ground. The light was blinding. Light? Kashii opened his eyes, and was met with a field of white. Cold snow, so so cold. Numb, pain. The rocking feel of being dragged along by the massive beast. He screwed his eyes shut, then opened them once more.

When Kashii opened his eyes again, he was met not with white, but a blurred landscape of browns and greys. The ache in his head continued to blur his vision. The burn in his chest remained, and he wheezed when he breathed in deeply. The only sounds were that of crunching gravel. He blinked again a few more times, the landscape coming into focus. He merely watched the ground for a while, the rocking soothing to his dulled senses. The numbness he had felt had gave way, and his body ached.

Finally, it occurred to him that he was being carried. He shifted his head marginally to get a glimpse of who his savior was. There was surprise when it wasn't his medic, who'd always been there to pull him out of scrapes, but instead it was Shizu-chan. He blinked slowly, registering this information. He could see white bandages across his bare arms, dotted with red. Had she done this for him? Rather than speak, he opted to stay still, watching the path ahead. His head felt so muddled. Kashii just wanted to sleep more, but the throbbing in his muscles and the discomfort disallowed him the pleasure of doing so.

It was a while until she stopped, at the edge of a wooded area with a stream passing through. It was only ankle deep here, but it was good enough for her. She knelt near a tree, sliding her burden to the ground. Kashii closed his eyes when she put him down, propped up against a tree. The movement ached. When he opened his eyes again, he saw her with her back to him, at the water's edge, fussing with the uneven and choppy ends of her hair, inspecting it with a scowl on her face. He watched her idly, a half-smirk on his face. "So… even you can be… a girl sometimes." His chest ached when he spoke, wheezy breath making him cough, and he could taste the copper on his tongue. When she turned her head directly to him, eyes glaring, it clicked in his head. Where was Saiko?

He blinked, looking around, and leaned away from the tree, panic creeping in. Where was his daughter? "Where is my daughter!?" he demanded, choking on the words. He drew his arms behind himself, pressing against the tree and pulling himself to his feet, a surge of vertigo wracking his head from the speed at which he'd done it. He stumbled, and when he put weight down on the right leg, pain rippled through it. Startled by the unexpected pain, he fell backward, injured back smacking and sliding down the rough bark. He snarled, clutching his leg, which had started to bleed through the gauze, and curling his back away from the tree. The leg of the pants had been torn open to allow the wrapping. "What the _fuck_…"

Shi merely watched, slightly entertained at the misfortunate jounin. Should she tell him where Saiko was, or should she feign ignorance and claim to know nothing? As amusing as the latter sounded, she spoke. "Your medic took her." His… medic? No one had accompanied him here. But as he examined the wrappings that bound his torso, the smell of the herbal salves and the wrapping of the bandages was all too familiar. He let out a weak laugh. "That dick… I told him to stay with Cat."

Shi dipped her hands in the cool water, splashing some onto her face. "Is she alive?" The bloodied scrap of fur he found the night before came to mind. "Yes." She'd been left with Dave, but for Dave to be out here meant one of three things: One, she was recovering and just needed rest. Two, she didn't make it, or three: Dave found someone to care for her so that he could come after Kashii. He rather hoped for the third option. ".. She's going to be fine."

Shi watched him shiver and pant. Despite the pain medication Dave said he'd administered, it was clear that it either wasn't working or it wasn't enough. Not that battering himself against the tree helped his condition any. Shi dipped her long sleeve in the water, letting it run over her fingertips before withdrawing and squeezing the excess water out. Despite himself, Kashii could feel the sting of his eyes watering. He kept his eyes downcast. So much pain. Stress. And relief. He'd almost lost three important people in his life. Even Cat was an important person to him. Everyone was safe now. No visions of himself killing them. But the visions of the fear of him… how _did_ people look at him? Perhaps they really did see him as the monster he always felt himself to be. Just because he had people he cared for did not mean they felt the same about him.

Gold eyes raised when he saw her crouch beside him, but he shied away from her fingers when she tried touching his face. For just a moment, just one moment, it felt like that woman reaching for his face. "Hold still." But it wasn't Hotaru, it was Shizu. She pulled his face back to look at the cut the sword had made. Upon eye contact, Kashii averted his gaze, wincing when the cool cloth rubbed against his cheek. "You… don't need to do this," he said quietly to her. Shi ignored him, rubbing away the dirt and dried blood. "It's not the first time I've had to." If anything, that made him feel even more bitter. Someone always had to pull him out of the bullshit he got himself in to. It wasn't fair to her.

Kashii reached towards her hair, pulling some between his fingers and rubbing his thumb across the uneven ends. "I'm sorry," he sighed, dropping his arm back to his side. She, naturally, said nothing. So he went on, "...For always being a burden to you." He could hardly recall a time where she seemed to actually enjoy his company. And, Kashii couldn't really blame her for that. He didn't exactly make himself the most enjoyable person to be around if he wasn't trying to gain something. He could also hardly recall the last time someone made him genuinely smile. "Thank you," he said warmly, "for helping me, even so."

Shi stared at his face for a few long moments, trying to gauge the sincerity in his expression and voice. She'd never seen him make such a kind face, let alone towards her. It made her feel rather uncomfortable, and she stood, returning to the stream to rinse the filth from her sleeve. "No… thank you for coming." He laughed at that response, then coughed. "That's… not something I need thanks for." He took a wheezy breath and grinned when she looked back with a raised brow. "Just expect me to be there when you need me." Shi didn't know why, but him acting this way made her discomfort increase.

Shi shook the water from her sleeve. She'd rested enough, they needed to keep moving. Thankfully, Kashii would be easier to carry now that he was awake. His display not ten minutes ago attested that he couldn't walk unsupported, and it would be faster to just carry him rather than let him use her as a crutch. Crouching at his side, she turned her back to him. "Get on." Somewhat awkwardly, he obeyed, arms around her neck when she lifted him from the ground. Frankly, he didn't enjoy being carried, let alone by a girl. But he didn't really get much of a choice now, did he? That was usually why he let people carry him. Kashii shifted his grip on her shoulders when she crossed the stream. "Watch your hands," she warned, "or you'll be finding your own way back." Ooh, that one hurt. "Pfft… you don't trust me at all.. do you?" A hidden smirk. "Not in the slightest."

The rest of the journey back was spent majorly in silence, with occasional and mostly unsuccessful attempts of conversation on his part. Kashi didn't really look forward to getting home. On top of recovering from his latest escapades, he'd need to care for Cat, and care for Saiko, care for himself. He needed to repair the damage done to his home, look into better security options. The kitchen was on the other side of the large house, walking back and forth for meals would be irritating. He had an assortment of crutches put away in the closet though, it wouldn't be too bad. And then there would be something for Shi too. He owed her something as thanks, because she was right, this _wasn't_ the first time she's had to pull him out of a scrape. Dave was one thing, it was the medic's job to take care of him. But Kashii didn't need to be continually putting this girl into that position. It was _his_ job to look after her, not the other way around.

There was a sense of despair when they finally reached his home. The debris of the blast were scattered into the front walk, a large hole with light filtering out from the inside. It would cost him a lot of time and money to repair that. Kashii started to squirm when Shi stepped onto the walkway. Okay he was home he could walk now. "Ow!" He was rewarded with a pinch. "Stop moving or you'll have an intimate date with the floor." Luckily, the resulting pout was hidden behind her head.

Dave was sitting at the table drinking tea when they came inside. Kashii was impressed to see that the majority of the blood had been cleaned up; that was one less thing he'd need to do. Saiko was asleep in Dave's lap, head nestled into the white folds of his coat, and Cat was curled on a seat cushion at his side. He took a drink before speaking. "I'll take that idiot from here, Adachi." Dick. "Heey! At least I went with my head held high. What did you do? Hide until the coast was clear." The two made a living of jabbing at each other. Dave took another drink, unfazed. "Toss 'im in bed, Adachi, and go home. I'll deal with him tonight." Dave just _loved_ to make Kashii feel indignant.

Kashii hissed when she did, quite literally, dump him onto the mattress, rolling her shoulder and walking out. "Gee, thanks." "You're welcome." Kashii could hear her conversing with Dave down the hall, but they were too quiet for him to hear what about. Everyone was safe. That's what mattered most. Sitting at the edge of the bed, Kashii pulled his gloves off with his teeth, tossing them on the side table with a loud _thunk. _Next went the headband and the hair tie. He shook his hair loose, lost in thought about how tomorrow would be. Dave would probably stick around just for tonight to monitor Cat and himself as well as make sure Saiko doesn't wake, but he'd be gone by noon. Daily tasks were going to be a _pain_ in the _ass._ So would be repairing that wall. It was a problem for tomorrow. For now, he laid on his stomach, willing himself into sleep. It was what he needed after the last few days he'd had.

* * *

**Some Shi parts written by KatSin. (Mostly during the part Kashii was unconscious.)**


	4. Scars

Bare feet moved silently over the floor, padding toward the bed where the bluenette slept. He looked like hell, and wouldn't be at a hundred percent for a while, but he would survive just fine. She perched on the edge of the bed, observing the male for a long moment. The medic had him drugged up nicely, a necessity to ensure the idiot actually slept and stayed in the bed long enough to heal properly. Gods help him if he aggravated his wounds with his stubbornness, she'd probably beat him herself.

She observed his wounds idly, sighing wearily as she started the arduous task of unwinding bandages from his limp form. The limbs were easy enough, but getting his torso unwrapped was not a task to relish. She let the wounds breathe for a moment as she set about tossing the soiled bandages and gathering the supplies she would need.

She started from the ground up, mechanically checking for signs of infection or inflammation as she made her way up his body. Things were coming along nicely, though she knew he would be complaining again when he awoke. '_Pain in the ass...'_ She cleaned out the deeper wounds, careful not to cause further injury but less than concerned about gentleness. He was dead to the world, there wasn't much point in being gentle, though even if he was awake she probably wouldn't be very "gentle". Shi wasn't much known for her bedside manner.

The process was a slow one. Clean the wound, check closely for any signs of infection setting in, apply healing salves, and finally re-wrap the bandage before moving on to the next. Fortunately for Shi it wasn't terribly taxing, though it offered an appropriate level of distraction. If that distraction wasn't centered around prodding the unconscious male's half-dressed body it would be even _better_, but beggars can't be choosers. '_This could be worse. I'm not sure __**how**__, but I'm sure it __**could **__be…'_

Dark eyes scanned his mangled flesh as she fetched the next bandage, taking in the scars he bore, signs of past battles fought and won. These wounds would go nicely with the rest of his collection when all was said and done. "An ill-tempered dog has a scarred nose…" Her mouth quirked upward faintly. He certainly fit _that _bill. Her hands worked mechanically to wrap the cloth, fingertips grazing warm flesh as she smoothed the cloth with every pass. It was almost amusing, having him at her mercy this way. Amusing, but also disturbing. Namame Kashii did _not _tolerate being at anyone's mercy. He was going to be hating life for a while.

She lifted his hand into her lap, observing the callused digits idly as she applied the salve and wrapped the bandage. They weren't very large, his hands, but they were capable of quite a bit of damage. But they were capable of other things, she knew. '_Will mine ever be capable of more than destruction?'_ She doubted it.

Shi sighed softly, working her way up his arms. They were a mess, more wound than not in some places, but realistically they weren't too bad. He'd had worse wounds, these at least were mostly on the surface. "You really know how to put yourself through the ringer..." She hummed to herself, winding the bandages up slowly but surely. Once one arm was wrapped she moved on to the next, her head shaking. He really was fortunate that scars were considered to be attractive and honorable within their profession. Only a coward has no scars, after all. Still, he wouldn't be looking very pretty for a while. Not that she would say he was _ever _pretty, or any other related term. His ego certainly didn't need _that_ kind of fuel.

Even with his limbs wrapped the work was only half done, and she sighed, contemplating how to clean and salve the wounds on his torso. Essentially she needed to coat all of him, and without making a mess of the sheets, since she certainly wasn't putting those in the wash in the middle of the night. She sighed and went about checking for infection first, pushing him onto his side in order to check his back as well. Once she had the all clear she wrapped an arm under him, lifting him slowly into a sitting position, or as close as she could get with dead weight. She adjusted her position to be beside him, one bent leg helping support his back as she spread the ointments across the wounded flesh of his chest and abdomen, her cheeks warming faintly at the vaguely intimate position. He was _very_ lucky he was asleep.

She leaned him against herself as she spread the salve over his back, careful not to be too liberal with it and doing her best to ignore the closeness. Bandaging him was a bit awkward, had he been any larger she'd probably have had a much more difficult time pulling it off, but she managed. Things never _were_ easy, were they? Easing him back onto the pillows she pulled his hair out of the way, sighing softly and adjusting the pillows to make him a bit more comfortable. As comfortable as you _can_ be wrapped up like some overstuffed sushi roll.

She brushed his hair away from his face, carefully applying salve to the wounds there. She was careful when taping the gauze pads down, not wanting the tape to come loose when he moved his face or talked, since he inevitably would, at great length and most likely volume. She was careful not to get any of his hair caught as she smoothed out the tape beneath the pads of her thumbs. She sat back, observing her handiwork. He was definitely more bandage than skin. "You're a mess, Namame..." She sighed softly, brushing his hair from his forehead as she leaned forward, her lips brushing the skin. "But we are grateful to have you."

"Thank you."

It was so quiet she could have been imagining it, but she doubted she was that lucky. Her cheeks were pink when she pulled back, her gaze directed anywhere but at his face. Funny, how something innocent could suddenly feel filthy when you were caught doing it. "Try not to make a habit out of nearly getting yourself killed." She distracted herself with putting the medical supplies away, praying desperately that he wasn't awake because he needed help to the bathroom. A girl has limits.

"'m pretty grateful to have you too."

She glanced his way, relieved to find his eyes already closing. If she was lucky, he wouldn't even remember the confrontation in the morning. She pulled the blankets up around his shoulders to keep him warm, brushing her hair out of the way as she straightened.

"Peaceful dreams, Kashii…"

She turned, padding quietly towards the door. Saiko had finally settled and Kashii's wounds were cared for, hopefully both would be peaceful for what little remained of the night.

* * *

**Mostly written by KatSin. I did like. One line. :D "Thank you." awwww yiiiissssss. All characters except Shi belong to me.**


	5. Pretty

"Put this on," he had told her. Shi had been surprised to see a simple, thick and wide box thrown at her. She hadn't even had the chance to ask "what is it?" before he'd taken her and pushed her into one of the empty rooms of his house, closing the door behind her and waiting outside.

Kashii had been waiting a good ten minutes when it occurred to him that she may not know how to even put it on. He walked out of the hall, and set his bag of goodies on the table in the front room. It had taken him a long time to figure out how he'd make it up to Shi for needing to bail him out of a sticky situation _again,_ but he'd finally come up with something. All girls liked feeling pretty, even ones like Shi. Returning, he gave a knock on the door, sliding it open. Shame on her if she wasn't dressed by now. "Does it fit?"

Shi turned when he entered the room, looking mildly indignant. He had to put a hand over his mouth to hide the laugh. "Pftt.." He'd been right in guessing she had no idea how to wear it. It was wrapped poorly and the sash around her waist was tied like her normal one was. "What's the point of this?" she asked scornfully, aware of his amusement. "Special training," he replied nonchalantly, stepping in to interfere before she permanently knotted herself into the kimono with the obi. "Hold still," he said as he untied the obi behind her, slinging it over his shoulder. She was silent, but he knew she wanted a better answer.

Kashii knew that if he didn't make it sound like a lesson, she wouldn't be interested in letting him fuss with her. He'd have to change her mind after she was done. Plus, he was interested in seeing the end result. "It would do you good as a kunoichi to learn how to wear these things," he said. In a sense, it was true, and he pulled her back against his chest, arms going around her waist to pull the front in place and fold it closed. As lovely as it would be to see her underwear, he spared himself the stabbing. Spinning her round, Kashii fussed with the cloth until it lay correctly against her body, and pressed her hand against her hip to keep it in place.

It only took a couple minutes to line the obi up, wrapping it around and tying it in a bow behind. He took a step back, circling and admiring his handiwork. "It's a good start."_Start…? _Shi didn't want to know what came next. He beckoned her to follow and left the room. She lingered, checking over this infernal thing he'd made her wear. The robe itself was an array of deep purples with lavender-and white flowers, and the trim and obi were black, with lavender floral design. At least he had a decent color sense. But taste, that was questionable. Judging by the feel, it had to be satin… no, silk? What use was such a flimsy fabric? And with the hem falling just short of her knees, there was hardly ample space to conceal decent weaponry. Even so, she couldn't deny that the fabric felt nice against her skin when she walked.

Shi found Kashii rummaging through a plastic bag. "Sit." he said, patting his hand at the edge of the table. He had a significant lack of chairs around. There was clinking as he found what he was looking for. She merely stood and watched him. Hadn't he done enough? Kashii set the bag down when he found what he was looking for, and stood from the table. "Sit _down_," he said, "I'm doing this for your benefit." She obeyed, sitting and glaring up at him. "And what benefit is that?" He hummed. "You've got business to attend to tonight, and I was to make sure you looked your part." Shi raised a brow. Why hadn't _she_ been informed of this? Kashii tipped up her chin, pulling the cap off a black pencil with his teeth and capping it on the other end. "Bear with me and close your eyes," he said, leaning closer to her face. _If he does it, I'm going to kill him._ But she closed her eyes.

Instead of what she expected the pervert to do, she felt his hands on her face, one hand on her cheekbone and the pencil he had being drawn across her eye. When he finished lining the other eye, she took a peek at him. Clearly he was amused, but he seemed focused on the task at hand. Next came a light dusting of lavender, and Kashii rubbed his thumb lightly along her lid, making sure it blended. By the time she felt the tugging of her lashes, she felt uncomfortable, to say the least. Part of her wanted to just stab him and get it over with. Part of her was interested in what the final product would be. "Almost done.." he mumbled, clearly focused.

Shi's eyes narrowed when he lifted her chin again, marginally, and stroked his thumb across her lip. "Hmm…" Shi's lips were a little dry, it would be better to have something with moisture in it. He fished in the bag again and withdrew a shiny pink cylinder, unscrewing it. Shi idly imagined a guy like him wandering around the makeup aisle, picking these things out, without a woman in sight to give him excuse to be there. Dipping the stick into the tube a few times, Kashii rubbed the felt tip across her lip, the translucent pink gloss giving her lips a wet shine.

When he finished. he capped it and tossed it on top of the bag with the other discarded makeup, and stepped back a few paces, to make sure it looked alright. It had been a while since he'd done this. Despite the disdainful look she gave him, the light makeup looked nice and made her face look brighter. Kashii crossed his arms, a hand on his face, and smiled, thinking to himself and admiring his work. This was getting to be more fun than he thought it would be.

"Can I leave now?" she asked him, her tone even despite the irritation. "No." He gathered the bag together, and looked around, trying to find something taller that was suitable to sit on. A counter would work, but that required convincing her to follow him to the other side of the large house, and it was better to keep her confined to the small area so she didn't escape. There was a lightbulb, and he disappeared into his bedroom, reemerging with the end table from the side of his bed. There was always room to improvise, and he was rather good at just making things _work._

Setting it in front of the chabudai, he tapped the surface with his fingernails. "Sit on this, and face that way." Shi sighed and rose to her feet, wondering just how he had roped her into becoming his toy. Sometimes it was easy to get sucked into his pace. He was going to die. Very, very slowly. Kashii stepped up on the table behind her pulling a brush through her hair. She ran lists of poisons through her head that would be painful; paralytics, neurotics, and other assortments of unpleasantries while he tugged at her hair here and there. She watched him when he hopped from the short table, retrieving the iron he'd set to heat. A few bobby pins were held between his lips as he checked to see if it was hot enough. It was amusing, really. The image he had right now was completely dissonant from the crazed sensei she had seen covered in blood countless times.

She let her mind wander to keep it off the man that was fluttering around her head. What kind of _business_ was she to attend to tonight? Who decided that, and why hadn't she been informed before she got pounced by a crazy bluenette? If it was an official summons, she knew she'd have been informed ahead of time. Which meant this was an off-the-clock occasion. Then there was also the option he was lying, and doing this for the simple fact that he just _could._ If that turned out to be the case, he'd find a knife to his throat.

Kashii's voice pulled her from her thoughts. "Aaand done." She didn't like the smug expression he was wearing. "There's a mirror in Saiko's room, tell me if there's something you want changed." Before she got up, almost as an afterthought, he retrieved a floral accessory. "Wait." Irritation increasing. She nearly considered biting when he touched her face again, but that would be completely undignified, wouldn't it? Completely ignoring her obvious discomfort, he clipped it into her hair, the purple flowers complimenting the kimono and small pearl accents hanging from it. Thank you, mom. He momentarily stroked her ear. There were no piercings, he'd keep that in mind in the future. "There, now go." Kashii allowed her to leave on her own, staying behind to pick up his supplies. He'd leave it for her to take later, he had no use for it otherwise.

Shi entered the child's room, wondering if this was the reason Kashii's mother had dropped by earlier in the day to take her granddaughter on a girl's day out. It seemed the entire Namame family enjoyed conspiring against her. However, her breath caught in her throat when she saw her reflection in the full-length mirror. To ensure that it was, indeed, her reflection, she touched her cheek, watching the reflection copy the movement. _That's… me…?_ Shi had absolutely no idea _what_ to think. Her hair fell in soft curls around her face, and was tied up high in back, curls falling from the twisted loops of indigo. The kimono was pretty. Of all things, she hadn't expected in the slightest that he'd be _good_ at what he was doing.

She almost, _almost_, hadn't noticed him behind her until his hands slipped around her neck, and she felt something cool touch her chest. She watched him in the mirror, clasping the necklace together. Hands on her shoulders, he shifted her to the side marginally so he could see her reflection, the silver pendant sparkling. "Beautiful, ne?" A silver kunai, two inches long at the most, with amethyst crystals on the small was that uncomfortable feeling again. "What's the point of this?" He held up two fingers. "Two options." A brow raised. He dropped one finger. "One, go back to your room, wash it out, and pretend it didn't happen." So in other words, he _was_ doing this just because he _could. _Shi thought about where the nearest sharp object was. "And two?" He held up the second finger. "Or two, let me take you out on a date." He grinned. She blinked at the second option. "Date?" He moved away, intertwining his fingers and resting them at the back of his neck, the grin remaining. "It'll be fun! But option one remains."

Shi stared at Kashii's reflection in the mirror. He couldn't _possibly_ be serious. She didn't want to get involved with his idea of "fun." But then, it would be a waste of the effort he'd put into her, and she wanted to look this way just a little bit longer. "Don't keep me out all night."


	6. Chivalry

So it had been a festival he wanted to take her to. It was a small setup on the edge of town, a few booths lit by round lanterns with a large fire at the end of the street. Nothing special, but she couldn't say she hated it. He'd gotten her treats to eat, and convinced her to play a few games. Completely pointless things, but again, she couldn't say she hated it. She watched him as he walked ahead of her, greeting those who greeted him, a warm smile that never wavered between person to person. It was because his expression never wavered that Shi knew it was false. Kashii didn't care a lick about these people around him, and she'd learned that by experience when she'd accompanied him to another country.

There was a glow about him in the warm of the lantern light, though. A date with him was not as horrible as she'd expected. They'd stopped again, and this time he'd gotten them both a glass of warm sweet sake. It tasted nice, she had to admit. "Are you having fun?" She paused, considering whether or not she should bother to answer. "It's not bad." Kashii smiled and took a drink of his sake. That would be the closest thing to a "yes" he'd ever get out of her, and he was content with that.

An all-too-familiar feeling of discomfort made itself known in her abdomen. Why now, of all times? She drained the remainder of her sake, crushing the paper cup and tossing it into a bin. She could deal with the feeling when they got home. Hopefully. Shi was rarely successful at relieving that discomfort, and more often than not merely washed it away with a cool shower. "Shi?" She bumped into him, not realizing he had been talking to her. "What." His expression showed mild concern. "You feeling okay?" Tch. "Fine." The raised brow indicated he didn't believe her, but he didn't pry further, which she was grateful for.

Then a thought occurred to her. This man was quite possibly the only person she knew who could successfully do it for her, and the only person she trusted enough to do it. But how would she even convince him? Asking bluntly would likely result in a "no." Especially in a place like this. She was a kunoichi, surely there were other methods she could convince him with. Kashii tossed his paper cup into the fire when they'd reached it, the warmth pleasant to his skin. He'd opted to wear a simple kimono as well, to look the part. The dark red color didn't seem to match him at all, yet at the same time, it was fitting. It was the color of blood.

Violet eyes glanced around at the other couples present, trying to pick up ideas. She should probably lure him away, to start with. She doubted that part would be hard, it was keeping him there that might be problematic. When Shi's eyes fell back onto her date, she found him watching her instead of the fire. She recalled him calling her beautiful before they'd left. Perhaps that was why? It made the discomfort grow. Well, she could give it a try. The worst he could do was refuse.

Kashii's palm was warm when she grabbed it, tugging him away from the crowd. "Ah...? Shi?" She didn't answer, instead intertwining her smaller fingers into his larger ones, as she'd seen some of the other couples do. Kashii allowed himself to be tugged away to the darkness, behind one of the stands. She had him, now to keep him here. Kashii was baffled when her free arm went around his neck, his turn to stiffen when she kissed him. His hand immediately went to her waist to push her away, but he curled his fingers before he touched her, curious as to what she would do. There was a wry smile on his lips when she pulled away. He wanted to chide her.

"You know," he said, walking her into the back of the wooden stand, "if you want to kiss me, then you ought to do it _right_." _Do it right?_ Had she succeeded? Kashii gripped her hand more tightly and pressed her into the wall, full body against her. Using his forearm against the wall to lock her in place, he captured her lips, gently biting on her lip and tasting her gloss as he tried coaxing her to open her mouth. When his tongue ran along the inside of her teeth, she rather questioned if this had been a good idea. But it wasn't exactly unpleasant.

A minute had passed before he allowed her to catch her breath. "Shi," he said, huskiness creeping into his tone. He pressed a finger to her lips, separating them from his own. "There are some things I don't _want_ to do." His gold eyes were pale in this light. "And there are some things I'm not _allowed_ to do." His cheek brushed against hers, breath warm on her ear. _"Please... don't make me break my own rules."_

And suddenly, the warmth of his body was gone. Shi stood alone against the back of the stand. She cursed. Was that the wrong approach? Still, she was impressed with herself. It seems she had uncovered a weakness. She'd have to be more direct with him, but there was still a chance that she'd get better results if she tried again. The problem was, he left her feeling hotter than she had been when she pulled him back here. Kashii watched her from a dark ledge above, the glint of firelight in his eyes the only indication he was there. He chewed his thumbnail, watching her leave. He had absolutely no idea what to think. Shi wasn't the kind of girl to do what she did.

_Rules..._ she could have laughed. _Chivalry is dead, Namame Kashii._ This could be considered a new challenge. Everyone had a breaking point. She had dug up a weakness. There was a possibility she could get him to do what she wanted. She just needed to find out what _his_ breaking point was. Shi fingered the silver pendant that hung from her neck, considering her options as she walked home. While there was the option of using a paralytic poison, that would take the fun out of it. No, she needed to _earn_ the skill needed to seduce him. It would be good practice for the future, and help her with these little _problems_. Two birds with one stone.


	7. Extra

Kashii awoke to the sounds of something hitting the water. The heat on his skin held him suspended in a dream-like state. Where was he? Had he fallen asleep in the bath? It happened time to time. He'd come home much later than she had. Taken lots of time to think about her actions during their date. Still, he had no answer. Shi just wasn't that kind of girl. He doubted it was someone playing a trick on him; Kashii could usually tell when he was being deceived. Shi, in the flesh, had dragged him away and kissed him, and he couldn't imagine why.

"_Sensei…" _Kashii's attention snapped together, and his eyes focused on the girl, clad in nothing but a towel, advancing towards him in the warm water. "Ah..ah!" There was a yelp of genuine surprise, and he sat upright, scooting away from her until he was at the back of the ofuro wall. She pushed her legs between his, hands on the edge of the bath on either side of him, and leaned her face close to his. "Tell me," she started, and he slid down marginally when she came close, eyes never looking away from hers. Throwing her off of him would hurt her, and he didn't want to do that. Instead, he put a hand on her chest, just below her throat, and pushed her away to keep her from coming closer.

"_Shiii…"_She put a hand over his, gauging his reaction to her. "Tell me," she said again," Do you push me away because you don't _want_ me?" She slid his hand away, leaning close to his ear, "Or is it because you're not _allowed _to have me?" His breath caught in his throat when she nuzzled against his neck. "I can _make_ you break your own rules." Now this just wasn't fair.

Kashii's kiss was much gentler this time than it had been at the festival. He didn't push her away when she leaned against him, one hand on her face, the other resting on his lap under the water. He pressed his palm down, holding the towel flat. No accidents here, please. He licked his lips when she pulled away. "I hardly think the bath is an appropriate place for this conversation." For so very _many_ reasons. He tapped her in the forehead. "Go get dressed. We can talk about this in the kitchen."

Shi hovered for a moment. This was such a _good_ opportunity, and still he pushed her away. With a huff, she climbed out of the bath, wet towel clinging to her form. Kashii watched her leave, waiting until he heard the door open and close before he even made a move to get out of the tub. Things were getting dangerous in this house.


	8. Conversation

**Still in skeleton format because frankly I was too lazy to write it out properly. I'll replace it if I'm assed to do it properly. Shi belongs to and was written by KatSin.**

**Nothing like a good conversation over drinks. Because if she's old enough to die for her country at 12, she's old enough to drink at 16.**

* * *

Kashii: What do you want from me?

Shi: *blink* Want?

Kashii: Want.

Shi: *considers*

Kashii: *Sips drink and sets down* I doubt you're doing this to toy with me. So tell me what you want and we can work things out from there.

Shi: *driiiink* You are an... Attractive male. I am a female. As the cats ~love~ pointing out, even humans have... needs. to be met. Yours are not, nor are mine.

Kashii: *hums* You find me attractive, do you?

Shi: *glare* Your ego could use some deflating.

Kashii: *Smirk* It was just a question.

Shi: Physically, you would be an appropriate match to suit my interests.

Kashii: *Taps his fingers together* And you're okay with that reasoning?

Shi: It is the most convenient solution. I am not, however, interested in producing more brats. One is quite enough for this house. If it serves it's purpose, wonderful, if not, it need have no effect on anything.

Kashii: It hurts that you find me a "convenient solution."

Shi: I don't know why. I'd be surprised if you referred to your old conquests in a manner even half that respectful.

Kashii: *long pause* _You_ are not a conquest, Shi. You are someone I _care_ about.

Shi: Were it not for you having the misfortune of being my sensei, I would mean no more or less to you than any average person on the street.

Kashii: That may have been true at first, I admit. But it's not that way now, and it will never go back to being that way.

Shi: Why not?

Kashii: *hums* Because I've grown fond of you.

Shi: *drink* You are fond of me.

Kashii: Yes. *swirls the contents of his glass before taking another drink* You do not like that I am?

Shi: Why should it matter to me? It has no effect on me.

Kashii: Is that so? *Frowns a little, staring at his cup* You don't like it that I'm kind to you?

Shi: Kindness and Fondness are not mutually exclusive. I can be kind to a stray dog and have no emotional attachment. Besides, kindness is relative. Killing an enemy quickly is a kindness. Does giving that kindness mean I am more fond of them than any other cockroach? No.

Kashii: *sets glass back down and smiles warmly at her* I see. I thought you may feel that way. But I don't want to be merely a "convenience" to you.

Shi: You wish for me to have an emotional attachment to you.

Kashii: I didn't say that. I merely said I don't want to be used by you at your convenience. There are better ways to spend our time together.

Shi: *smirk* I thought you wanted me to have "fun." Or is this not classified as fun as I was led to believe? *okay maybe toying with him just a little is kinda fun*

Kashii: ... *sip* There are lots of different kinds of fun. That's not the kind of "fun" you should seek from me. Especially when... *falls silent* ...nevermind.

Shi: *brow arch* You should not suggest a conversation if you are unwilling to speak, or make a point if you will not elaborate. *sip* Besides. *quiet* There is no one else to seek such things from.

Kashii: Why pick me? If it's the physical need you want, you could have chosen anyone. I'm your _teacher_, Shi. Getting involved with me would get you in trouble.

Shi: With whom? *glances around* I have no family or friends to make judgements on my life. You are the only superior I have regular contact with. My Bakuton sensei doesn't care what I'm doing so long as it doesn't affect my work, and the Kage has no reason caring about the personal life of a chuunin so long as I complete my missions and earn a profit. The only person who would approach me about it would be the cat, and he would be thrilled with the thought of me "mating." *grimaces and glances at glass* Besides that, there _aren't _ others I could choose.

Kashii: You're a pretty and bright girl, Shi. It wouldn't be hard.

Shi: People find me offputting. I am not... Social. The only men brave enough to approach me consider me a conquest.

Kashii: *hums in thought* ... isn't that what you're asking of me, though?

Shi: I do not wish to be publicly humiliated for the amusement of those men. You have discretion. You would not parade around that you had slept with the orphan freak the way those men would.

Kashii: You're not a freak.

Shi: I am to them. *sips* I have ears, and I know how to use them. I know what people say about me behind my back, and when it is said out of my range, I have Jun to inform me.

Kashii: So. What they say has effect over you, but what I say doesn't? *tilts head*

Shi: I did not say it effects me. I said that I frighten people, I did not say that this bothers me. Being offputting spares me from the awkward and forced social interactions that people put themselves through. But it makes the rare times I require the cooperation of another person awkward.

Sexual intercourse requires a second person. As most people are frightened of me, they would not find the idea agreeable. I could pick up a drunken idiot in a bar, but I dislike the thought of being manhandled by a stranger. I don't know where they've been. You on the other hand I know. I know you're hygienic enough to be tolerable in close quarters, and I am accustomed to your touch already.

Kashii: Do you know where _I've_ been?

Shi: I am aware you have a reputation. I am also aware you have not been living up to that reputation for some time now.

Kashii: *Blink* You've put thought into this, haven't you?

Shi: *sips drink* It's only a matter of time before I'm expected to perform a mission that requires letting a man into my bed. While I am told men get a perverse pleasure out of finding blood on their bedsheets, I do not wish to give that satisfaction to an enemy.

Kashii: *Smirks into his glass* I can't say that's a wrong way of looking at it.

Shi: I need to learn to *grimace* endure in the interest of my career. I cannot train something like that alone. *sips drink* Jun assures me that the process can be... Enjoyable. He believes I should give it a chance.

Kashii: You shouldn't have to force yourself. You're not forced to take those kinds of missions. They just provide better pay.

Shi: I am best suited to them. I have no family and no prospect of a relationship in the near or distant future. There would be no jealous lovers taking offense to my being assigned such a mission as is the case with many women If the need were desperate, I have no doubt I would be one of the ones pressed to volunteer.

Kashii: Being "best suited" is not the same as being okay with the job. There are many fine kunoichi in this village.

Shi: I will inevitably be expected to endure sexual relationships at some point, whether for the sake of the village or for the sake of personal interests. Women are supposed to consider the first time special.

Kashii: And you believe it will be special if you share that time with me?

Shi: You are someone I am familiar with. It will likely be the only way I will be able to do this without consuming so many mind-altering substances that I don't even remember it the next day. I am still uncertain which of the two is the preferable option.

Kashii: *sighs and advances on her* Shi... *strokes one hand down her side, the other down her jaw to her hand* You don't _like_ being touched.

Shi: *tenses* I can learn to tolerate it. I don't mind when it's Saiko, or the cats. I tolerate you more than most. That must mean something.

Kashii: I don't think you'll be able to tolerate what you're asking me to do.

Shi: *frown* I didn't dislike kissing you. At least naked I will know you're not carrying any weapons.

Kashii: Like I'd hurt you.

Shi: *blink* ... *deadpan face*

Kashii: ... You think I would?

Shi: I have no way of knowing that.

Kashii: *lets her go* I can't make you trust me. I can only ask you to.

Shi: I trust that you will not do anything to me unless it becomes advantageous to you to do so.

Kashii: I wouldn't do anything to you that you yourself would not allow.

Shi: *blink* I allowed you to beat me within an inch of my life. And I am willing to allow you to... Mate with me.

Kashii: *rubs the back of his head* Yeah…

Shi: My permission is not what you are having difficulty with. You wish for me to trust you completely?

Kashii: I... yes, I do.

Shi: To open myself up, emotionally as well as physically, and allow myself to be completely vulnerable with you?

Kashii: Yes.

Shi: And you wish to have this without any effort of reciprocation on your part. To be privy to my thoughts and secrets without being expected to share your own.

Kashii: Ask of me what you want, and I'll give you my answers. It's only fair.

Shi: I told you what I wanted, you weren't satisfied.

Kashii: It's... I don't want you to get hurt.

Shi: You can only be hurt if you allow yourself to be hurt. That is a lesson I should think you are well acquainted with. You wish for me to set myself up to be hurt, and rely on your ability to keep from disappointing me

Kashii: People who get that close to me.. get hurt. I don't want to risk that again.

Shi: People who are close to me have a tendency of dying, usually in agony from what I've read. That does not appear to bother you.

Kashii: Takes more than a little bad luck to put a dog like me down.

Shi: I killed my own mother coming out of her, you did not. I think that is a sign of who is the greater risk of the two of us.

Kashii: *strokes her neck, and pulls her hair forward* Already, because of me, you've gotten hurt. That _woman_ could have done so much worse to you than she had.

Shi: That woman would have hurt me regardless of your influence.

Kashii: She wasn't after you.

Shi: She doesn't need to be. *glances down* She's already had me.

Kashii: *raises brow* What do you mean?

Shi: *shakes head* I would not expect you to understand.

Kashii: Even if I don't understand, I can still listen and try to.

Shi: *frown* You will judge me. Negatively. And your fondness will evaporate.

Kashii: *half smile* Do you _really_ think I'm in any position to judge _anyone_ based on their past?

Shi: When she used her genjutsu on you. You saw things?

Kashii: I saw things.

Shi: From your past?

Kashii: *nod* Things I'd like to never remember.

Shi: The boy. You recall him?

Kashii: With white hair?

Shi: *nod*

Kashii: Yes.

Shi: I don't suppose you'd encountered him before?

Kashii: *shakes head* I haven't.

Shi: *lips purse* He was... Dead. Inside. *searches for words* He did not speak unless necessary nor did he react to baiting. He did not react to physical pain, perhaps does not even feel it. He performed the duties expected of him with all the efficiency and detachment of a machine.

Kashii: What about it?

Shi: Do those behaviors not strike you as familiar?

Kashii: *blink* Hold on…

Shi: He was not born with those traits. He was trained. Likely from a very young age, and with a great deal of brutality. It is how they operate. It is very efficient. That boy. Is not human. He may have been once, but he is not, not anymore. Not anymore than I am.

Kashii: *pats her head* It's okay, Shi.

Shi: I do not need you to placate me.

Kashii: I'm not placating you.

Shi: Then what are you doing?

Kashii: You are not the same as that boy.

Shi: *faint smile* I am, actually. The only difference is who I call my master. I do not kneel to that bitch. I hope I never will. But that does not change the fact that I am exactly like that boy. Sharpened and honed to be the perfect weapon.

Kashii: *Leans his back against the counter* Unlike that boy, you have at least _one_ person who cares for you and wants the best for you. I can't.. say that my sentiments should mean anything to you. But I feel you to be just as human as I am.

Shi: *blink* You consider yourself to be a dog. Is that a roundabout way of calling me a bitch?

Kashii: *chuckle* You truly believe yourself to be a monster? As your superior, you are to obey orders should I issue them to you seriously. Can you do that, no matter what the orders are?

Shi: I am responsible for the deaths of every member of my immediate family, and for the deaths of many more. I could easily destroy everything within the borders of this property. Put me somewhere with a high number of targets-hospitals, academies, barracks, kage towers-and the losses would be catastrophic. As your inferior, it is my duty to follow your orders. It is not a question of whether I can, but whether I _will_ that concerns you. I have killed those considered my superiors before.

Kashii: *Looks her in the eye, serious* Then kill me.

Shi: *blink* That would be pointless.

Kashii: *Grabs her hand, puts it around his throat* Pointless or not, it's a direct order. Why do you hesitate?

Shi: Being branded a murderer offers no strategic advantage to me. We are not in combat or a mission. You may be a higher rank than me, but as we are not currently on the clock, I am under no real obligation to do as you say.

Kashii: I am considered a valuable fighter to this village. Should you best me, would that not make you more valuable than I?

Shi: I do not need to kill you to be a better fighter than you. My value is in my bloodline, not my ability to choke you. So as I said, it would be pointless.

Kashii: *smirk* Some monster you are. *lets go of her hand*

Shi: I was trained to complete my objective. When my objective is to slaughter, I am free to do so with prejudice. Self-control is key to being a proper tool. A paper bomb with too short a fuse is useless. Your attempting to test my ruthlessness without any incentive is foolish.

Kashii: I'm more than capable of supplying you incentive, if you should so need it.

Shi: No need. I can illustrate my point well enough without your help. *goes to room to collect her evidence*

*returns with wooden chest* Aku Shinji was a Jounin of this village, a "valuable fighter" as you'd put it, yes?

Kashii: *Nods and tilts his head*

Shi: And he was my superior in rank, naturally.

Kashii: Yes.

Shi: *opens chest, and sets the jar preserving her trophy on the table* Not much to look at, mind you, but when your interest lies in raping your inferiors I suppose the equipment doesn't have to be large.

Kashii: *Staaare* ... lovely. *Covers his own junk automatically* I do hope you do not intend on making a collection of those.

Shi: My superior wished to take advantage of his power over me. He was very "serious" about it. Had he thought it would work I'm sure he'd have issued an order to behave. It was not advantageous to allow my so-called superior to touch me. He ceased to be useful toward my goal, and his death would weaken the village, however marginally. I was under no obligation to let him survive. *lifts jar* So I made sure he suffered.

Kashii: That's an analytical way to look at it. *taps jar* It would have been more useful as a coin purse, don't you think?

Shi: *grimace* I did not wish to touch it any longer than was necessary. I would certainly not choose to carry it around.

Kashii: Haha.

Shi: I am perfectly capable of committing murder when it is necessary, and of enjoying it. Just because I choose not to slaughter you for my entertainment does not mean I am human.

Kashii: *smirk* Such a negative little girl. We haven't even gotten to the part where my fondness of you will decrease.

Shi: Do not call me a little girl, it makes you sound like a paedophile.

Kashii: Doesn't what you want me to do already make me one?

Shi: I am not a child.

Kashii: But you are not an adult.

Shi: By which standards.

Kashii: *waves hand* The general public. The ones who will skin me alive depending on what choice I make.

Shi: I am asking you to sleep with me, not marry me.

Kashii: I'd have to ask your parents, first.

Shi: When you develop a jutsu that allows you to communicate with the dead, let me know.

Kashii: *grins* It's fine, you can just borrow mine. ... And technically, there is a jutsu that exists for that... buuuttt...

Shi: *glower*

Kashii: Give me time. Make absolute sure this is what you want. It's a simple answer to you, I'm sure, but there are a lot of people I'd need to answer to if it's found out. *pats her hair again* I want to be able to firmly stand by the decision I've made with you.

Shi: No one would find out. *eyeroll* I'm certainly not telling.

Kashii: *leans and nuzzles her ear* Until then... I'd rather hear "I enjoy it" rather than "I don't dislike it."

Shi: *frown* You talk of trusting you and then turn everything into a joke.

Kashii: Who's joking?

Shi: You would reject me regardless of what I said, so why should I use pretty words?

Kashii: *purrs* You said yourself you'd make me break my own rules.

Shi: You broke them on your own with very little encouragement from me before. And they're pointless rules.

Kashii: *taps fingers on countertop, looks down, thinking* Well.. I can't say I dislike kissing you, either.

Shi: *glances away* I enjoyed it. I think. That was the entire point of attempting more.

Kashii: Then you can kiss me whenever you like.

Shi: That is not the more I meant *frown*

Kashii: I know.

Shi: *shakes head and locks up box* As I said, you would never understand.

Kashii: ... When.

Shi: You cannot understand anything about me. Not about me then, and not about me now. I try to simplify it, and you still don't grasp it. It does not satisfy you.

Kashii: *Shakes his head* You want to have sex with me? When.

Shi: At the moment, never. You're an ass.

Kashii: *smirk* I never assumed I was anything otherwise. But you're right. I'm not being fair to you. Just selfish.

Shi: It was stupid to think I could attempt something like that, least of all with you. Something always spoils it when I'm in a good mood, usually you yourself are the one to do it. *prickly armor power to full*

Kashii: Aye, I'm good at that. *obviously feels bad*

Shi: *can't tell if that's sarcasm*

*doesnt know how much she's had to drink but would love to pretend it's a lot by now*

Kashii: *tucks his hair behind his ear* I'm sorry... I just don't want to repeat past mistakes. *Glances up at her* I want you to trust me. So I'll do what you ask of me. *Pretty good at holding his liqour*

Shi: *shakes head* I should never have bothered asking.

Kashii: It's not your fault. That answer will change. *strokes her face* Bear with me. I promise, I'll give you what you need. I'm just an idiot that needs hit upside the head now and then. *genuine smile*

Shi: Who's to say I will still want you when it does change?

Kashii: I can't say for certain, and that's your choice to make.

Shi: Perhaps someone else will become more convenient. Who knows. They certainly wouldn't have any ridiculous expectations of me. *mutter* Trust and vulnerability. What kind of male wants more than a roll in the sheets?

Kashii: I haven't been the greatest person to you, and when you approached me despite that, I pushed you away. *Runs his thumb across her lip* If I wanted just a "roll in the sheets" with you, it would have been done already.

Shi: *frown* You are the only person who has been even remotely kind to me.

Ever.

Kashii: And I will continue to be kind to you, even if you choose not to be kind to me.

Shi: *bites lip and ducks head* … *stupid shiny eyes*

*tiny voice* I just wanted to know if I was truly broken…

Kashii: *tilts her head up to look at him* Right now. What do you want me to do?

Shi: *will. not. cry. tears are weakness* I don't want you to do anything right now. I'm not... Aroused. *really needs better words*

Kashii: *rubs his thumb at the corner of her eye* Shi, it can be anything.

Shi: *frown* Go back in time and kill them. Or me. Either is acceptable.

Kashii: I can't do that. I can only do things for you from this moment on.

Shi: Then there's nothing you can do. You can't make it go away. Even the memory seal didn't make it go away, not completely. *looks away* I'll never be normal. I was lying to myself to think that I could have even that much normalcy.

Kashii: I can't make it go away, no. But I _can_ give you better memories.

Shi: All intercourse will do is prove how broken I am, and make you pity me. I could tell the stupid cat he was wrong, and then _he _will pity me. *steps back* Pointless.

Kashii: You want sex because you want to feel good, that's why you approached me for it, isn't it?

Shi: *bites lip* I wish to know if there is any hope that I will ever be able to feel any manner of pleasure from intimate contact with another human being. So far since coming here, you have been the only person to touch me even remotely intimately, and it piqued my curiosity. Obviously I miscalculated. I am not capable and even when I fooled myself into thinking I am you do not find me desirable in that way. Not that I blame you.

Kashii: *Kisses her forehead* I can make you feel good, if that's what you want from me. I _do _find you to be an attractive girl, Shi. It was my own personal reasons that I rejected you. But your reasons for needing it are greater than mine for not allowing it.

Shi: You wish to sleep with me out of pity. Or some form of obligation.

Kashii: I pity myself, not you.

Shi: For what.

Kashii: Being an idiot and pushing you away. I'm not good at... dealing with things sometimes. I can't say I'm comparable to you, but you're not the only one who's broken. If you do not want me because of how I reacted to you, that is my own fault, and I will not push.

Shi: You're fixable. Someday you'll find a woman who will make a good wife and mother for Saiko and continue the Namame line and you will be content.

Kashii: *Shakes his head* No. I'm not fit to have a commitment like that.

Shi: You have a child. That is a greater commitment than any. Unless you wish to abandon her, but you'd have done so already

Kashii: I tried protecting you from _myself_. I know I can't be someone a woman would want. Not long-term. And Saiko... I couldn't abandon her. I am her world, and will never be anything less. But.. one day, I may end up hurting her too. I can be killed at any time I walk outside these village walls.

Shi: Or you could piss me off and be killed within them. *lip twitch* And you have desirable qualities. Many, many faults, but some would call it a fair trade.

Kashii: What desirable qualities would those be? *Scoff* Housework? Caring for freeloaders? *Second part not aimed at Shi so much*

Shi: *eyeroll* You are loyal. Determined. An excellent father. *measures up* Pleasant to look at. A strong protector and capable provider. You are aware of your own faults, despite your massive ego.

Kashii: *Crosses arms and leans back, hiding face behind hair* You think that much of me, huh?

Shi: You saved my life, at the risk of your own. A few times now.

Kashii: And I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Shi: You are the only human being on this planet who genuinely cares whether I live or die. *shifts weight* If you can care so much for a worthless creature like me, then you will make the woman you choose feel very treasured.

Kashii: Do you feel treasured?

Shi: *ducks head* I was not referring to myself.

Kashii: But I am.

Shi: I would not know what it is supposed to feel like.

Kashii: How do you feel, when you're with me?

Shi: *pinky cheeks* Annoyed, usually.

Kashii: When I take you out, train with you, get you things, of my own violation. *traces his finger across the silver chain around her neck* How does that make you feel?

Shi: *mumble* Uncomfortable.

Kashii: Do you not like it?

Shi: I'm not supposed to feel... Anything. Let alone nice things. It is uncomfortable, doing new things, feeling new things. *pout* But I want to feel more of it. Because it's nice.

Kashii: It's proof that you _can _feel. It's what makes you human. I'll continue to do those things with you, if you like it.

Shi: *mumble* _They _felt things and they were _not_ human.

Kashii: *holds her face* _You_ are not _them_.

Shi: I don't want to be a normal girl. Normal girls irritate me. *bites lip and reaches for him* But I don't want to be what they made me either.

Kashii: Normal is a relative term.

Shi: I will never like pink. Or frills. I won't bat my eyes, because that makes you look like an idiot. And giggling makes you sound like a twit. Or wear ridiculous clothing that doesn't cover anything and makes you look trashy.

Kashii: *smile* I know you like purple.

Shi: Purple is the color of royalty. It's perfectly acceptable for anyone to like it.

Kashii: Shall I call you a princess, then?

Shi: Only if you want me to inflict bodily harm.

Kashii: Maybe I like that kind of thing, hime-sama.

Shi: *fights a smile* Don't you dare call me that in front of the cats. or the brat. or anyone else.

Kashii: I wouldn't dream of it. God knows who those cats would tell.

Shi: I will never be _nice_, not the way you are. I am nicer to you than I am to anyone. *tugs at bottom of shirt* At best, I will treat you the way I do Jun, which you've seen. I don't dote. Or coddle.

Kashii: I'm pleased to know that I've achieved the same level as your cat.

Shi: I am very tolerant of my cat's affections and he has never complained about how I treat him, nor has he ever been abused. People would be considered lucky to be on par with my cat. *smirk*

Kashii: Very lucky. *Takes her hand from his shirt and holds* It's time for bed, don't you think?

Shi: *pinks* I still think you're an ass and I'm not sleeping with you.

Kashii: I didn't ask you to. Besides, I'm sure you wouldn't be happy sleeping in my arms all night. *sticks tongue out in a grin*

Shi: Oh. *blushes darker* Jerk.

Kashii: You make the cutest faces sometimes, Shizuka.

Shi: Shutup *frowns and ducks head*

Kashii: *ruffles her hair and drains the remainder of his glass* But you're welcome to, if you'd like.

Shi: *bites lip* I don't think you'd like that.

Kashii: I wouldn't have offered.

Shi: *frowns* I don't sleep peacefully.

Kashii: Neither do I. *Quietly sets glass in sink*

Shi: You'd probably get hit. A lot. Probably somewhere painful.

Kashii: I can handle getting hit. *Pokes her cheek* It'll be a death match throughout the night. Sounds fun.

Shi: *bats hand away* Don't laugh at me. *bites lip* I want to try something.

Kashii: Oh?

Shi: *nod* But no laughing.

Kashii: Go ahead. I won't laugh.

Shi: *edges closer, wary*

Kashii: *watches*

Shi: *touches chest* ... *always so cautious* *easily-spooked-bunny-shi*

Kashii: *continues to watch, does nothing*

Shi: *pushes self to close distance, hiding face in chest to avoid seeing rejection*

Kashii: *Strokes her hair and murmurs* It's okay.

Shi: *puts arms around slowly*

Kashii: *puts his arms around her waist and pulls her against him*

Shi: *relaxes bit by bit* this is... *breathes deeply* pleasant. *shoulders relax* when it's you, at least. *mumble* anyone else i would probably stab.

Kashii: *nuzzles by her ear* It makes me happy to hear you say that, you know.

Shi: *blushy* is it supposed to feel warm?

Kashii: *Squeeze* Yes, I believe it is.

Shi: *clings to shirt and squeezes* is it pleasant for you too?

Kashii: It is.

Shi: *small smile* Are all touches supposed to be this nice?

Kashii: Only if it's with someone you like.

Shi: *bites lip* I think... *blushy* I am ready for bed.

Kashii: Then let's go.

Shi: *doesnt want to break the spell of cuddle induced fuzzy warmth*

Kashii: *Holds her for a few more moments, then moves to flick off the light*

Shi: *hides blushy face* Kashii?

Kashii: ..Yes, Shi?

Shi: I would have died for you too. *must resist desire to flee* I will. If I have to. *is practically declaring love in shi speak*

Kashii: *Not used to hearing that, partly covers face with hand and looks away* That.. I... thank you.

Shi: *shrug* You would be worth it. *nods once, to self* You both are. *turns, unable to fight need to escape any longer*

*fluff allergy activated*

Kashii: I'm worth it, heh. It's nice hearing something like that once in a while, isn't it? *catches her wrist and tugs her with him* Come, it's getting late.

Shi: *smiles teeny tiny and follows*

Kashii: *living quarters on opposite side of bigass house, considers installing more hall lights*

Shi: *totally not afraid of the dark*

*may actually laugh if he trips on something though*

Kashii: *nothing to trip on, but there are support pillars to walk into*

Shi: *even better*

Kashii: *But what kind of ninja goes facefirst into a pillar in his own house*

Shi: *thus the laugh*

Kashii: *stops outside her room, soft kiss* Goodnight?

Shi: *smiles* Goodnight... *will hate self for mushiness in morning but daww*

Kashii: *will have no idea what to do with self in the morning*

*hums before she goes* You can always come to me if your dreams get bad. *disappears around corner*

Shi: *bites lip and slips into room, touching her lips faintly*


	9. Explore

It was difficult for her to get used to it. The closeness. The feel of his body. His touch. His scent. His kiss. He never initiated, but always reciprocated when she did. It was good practice, really. He never brought up that she was a bad kisser, or laughed at her, nothing. He never pushed, allowing it to go only as far as _she_ wanted it to. He'd begun allowing her in his bed for more than just sleep at night. But he would never touch her. In some sense, she was grateful. He was allowing her to get used to touch on her own. But in another sense, she wanted to entice him to touch her. That was what she had wanted from him to begin with. But the slow progression, this was nice too. Easier, really.

Shi lay at Kashii's side, a hand on his chest, teeth biting on his lip. He held her head, fingers intertwined with her hair. Shi followed his lead, going by feel, doing what he did. It wasn't unpleasant. She pushed a little further, having a try at running her tongue on his teeth, when she crossed the point of one of his canines, and pulled back slightly. She'd always known of the fangs he had; he took every chance he could to show them off when he grinned. She knew they weren't a thing of vanity; his mother, uncle, brother, even Saiko had the sharp teeth in their jaw as well.

Kashii's grip loosened when she pulled away, gold eyes watching her every movement carefully. He remained quiet, as he always did at these times, and licked his lips when she touched his face. _What will you do?_ She'd become so inquisitive since he'd allowed her advances towards him. He couldn't say he disliked the look of concentration and interest whenever she tried something new. He let his face relax when she felt along his lips, jaw opening when her fingers traced along his teeth. Kashii knew what she was interested in. She hadn't been the only one who had sparked interest in his fangs.

His eyes closed when she continued to explore his mouth, fingertips gently feeling along the points of his canines. His fingernails scraped on her scalp, other hand gripping the belly of his shirt. He wanted to lick her fingers, tug on her hair, hold her tight against her and show her all the things he could do with these teeth. But he didn't move, allowing her to sate her curiosity. She'd done very little in the way of testing his self-control. Little things like kissing or some touching, that wouldn't be enough to sway him. Even though his body responded to her, he wouldn't. Not until she gave him no choice otherwise, and that would be a step she chose to take herself, on her own terms.

Swallowing, Kashii's gaze returned to her when she finished. But Shi didn't seem like she was ready to leave yet. Often she'd leave when she'd had her fill of closeness with him, usually making an interesting expression. But unlike those times, she continued to touch his face. Stroked his hair away, fingers trailing along the rim of his ear. Her touch was light and tingled, but when she reached his neck, his shoulder raised automatically to shield away from her hand. And damn, that seemed to catch her interest. He let out a heavy breath when she pulled his head to the side. He'd made the mistake of openly reacting to her touch. But he wouldn't push her away. It would be useless at this point; he'd already allowed this much of her without pushing her away.

The bluenette didn't like having his neck exposed to Shi. It would just make her that much harder to resist when she ...ah… Her nails brushed along the side of his neck again, and the grip she had in his hair prevented him from pulling away. He considered saying something to her, but he knew that it takes a lot for her to push herself into being forward, and that she'd flee if he did. It was beneficial to allow her to explore without interfering, but it didn't stop him from hissing when her lips brushed below his ear, warm tongue making him shiver. "mm.." Ah, _fuck…_


	10. Knowledge

**Sexually mature content in this chapter. Skip it if you don't want to read it. ~/o/ I don't know about stuff I've written in the past, but sexual things are needlessly hard for me to write nowadays, I'm not even kidding. I hate using the dirty words. :c I've gone backwards. Written with assistance by KatSin for Shi's actions.**

* * *

"You want to _what_?"

A thirst for knowledge is an admirable trait to have. As a teacher, Kashii could openly welcome the desire to learn. However, there were some methods he just couldn't quite condone to gain that knowledge. For example, cutting open a live frog to see how the insides work. Destroying something to see if you can put it back together. Or, tying your teacher down so that you may explore him for your own personal knowledge.

"Learn."

Kashii shivered when her tongue brushed his neck with the syllable. A cheater, she was. It's rude not to play by the rules. His hands shifted under the silk ropes. She'd managed to slip them on while he was distracted. It wouldn't be impossible to break free from the bonds, but he didn't feel it necessary. It was obvious there was no plan to hurt him, and the fact that she'd taken the time and effort to put him in this position… well, he was interested in how it would pan out.

Kashii licked his lips, looking up at Shi when she sat up. As usual, her expression betrayed absolutely nothing. It was impossible to know what the girl was thinking. Since that night at the festival, they'd kissed many more times. Never anything more, just kissing and cuddling. They were starting to dance on a thin line and Kashii would have to try even harder not to step over it. He was enjoying kissing her. Being kissed _by_ her. He wanted to touch her more, every time. But he resisted. He _needed_ to resist. Not just for his own sake, but for Shi's. Now if only _she_ would listen to that sentiment…

His wrists twisted in the rope over his head when he saw her grab his knife. "Shiiii…" he said warily, watching her dip it under the cloth at his navel. "What are you doi-Hey!" He didn't get a chance to finish his question, for she'd drawn the blade up to his throat, tearing cleanly through the fabric that covered his chest. Kashii had a pretty good feeling he didn't like where this game was going. Her expression never wavered as she discarded the knife and pulled away the torn shirt. "Tch… you…" He honestly didn't even know what to say through the brimming irritation. His shirts got tore enough as it was. But the irritation simmered when she stroked her fingers across his chest. With a sigh, he said, "You could have asked."

Kashii drew his legs up, squirming. Maybe he should just escape after all. It wasn't too late. However, she didn't plan on giving him the opportunity. Shi shoved his legs flat and straddled his thighs to prevent further squirming."Sit still." He clenched his teeth and obeyed, watching her warily, hoping she didn't cause him to do something he couldn't take back. They'd already started doing things he couldn't take back, but so far, he had no regret. He didn't want to do something he _would_ regret. But she was getting more and more unpredictable as the days marched on.

Kashii watched Shi in silence as her fingers traced along faint white lines. Scars came with the territory, especially with how recklessly he used to fight. Fighting for fun and fighting smart were two separate things, and he usually did it for fun if he felt he was in the advantageous position. Right now, Kashii did not feel like he was in the advantageous position. And despite how he wanted to change that role, he complied and allowed the girl to do what she wished.

Shi drew her fingers across a nipple, aware that this was supposedly an erogenous region, yet it was fascinating how it stiffened under her fingers. Doing it to the other produced the same results. When she lost interest, she trailed her fingers down his abdomen, feeling along the lithe muscles. Kashii bent away from her touch when she stroked along his side. Pausing, she tried again, brushing her nail across his skin. He pulled away again. "Hah… stop that."

Intriguing. Shi shifted back, and Kashii tensed when she brushed her lips across his stomach. "That tick...nnnn…" His voice died in his throat when she drew her tongue across his skin. Rather than tickling, that felt _good._ He found himself wanting her to lick him more, and that made him uncomfortable on several levels. She continued the ministrations until he was squirming under her. "Th-that's enough, don't you think?" Satisfied and amused, she grabbed the black knife she'd discarded.

"Quiet."Kashii wondered if it was a good idea to continue allowing her to do what she liked when she cut away the sleeves of what remained of his shirt. His hands fisted when she laid the flat of the blade against the side of his neck, the chill of the metal sending goosebumps down his arms. That seemed to be the response Shi was looking for, for the knife was forgotten again and she felt along his arms, the bumps on his skin fascinating. The way his body responded to her touch was absolutely _fascinating_.

Kashii turned his head to the side when her breasts came close to his face, taking a couple deep breaths, trying to collect his thoughts properly. She will _definitely_ notice when she sits back down… He wanted her to stop, but at the same time, he didn't. Kashii flexed his arms against the bonds when she did lean back. He wanted to pounce her, to touch her too. But he resisted. No matter what she did, he _couldn't…_ Noticing signs he was beginning to struggle, Shi pressed her face against his shoulder, nipping at his neck. It made him tingle, and did nothing to help his cause. "Damnit…"

He closed his eyes when she did finally sit back, unsuccessfully trying to occupy his mind elsewhere. It wasn't working very well when her weight rubbed against him. "Hm?" She looked down."Oh..?" Focus, focus… think of something else… He thought of blades, he thought of fights, of drink, of Cat, but nothing was working, and his thoughts kept falling back to the girl on top of him. There was a wave of relief when she got off of him, and he relaxed.

Shi received minimal response when she rubbed her hand down his leg, knee bending slightly when she reached his bare ankle, and she lifted his foot. Gold eyes watched her poke at his toes. Such a strange child, she was. When her fingers stroked across the sole of his foot, however, his toes curled and he jerked his leg away from her grasp. Again with the tickling.

Placing his foot back on the bed, he let out a heavy breath. She'd touched him nearly all over now. Was she done?

...Apparently not.

"Oi." There was some hesitation when she reached towards the bulge in his pants, and he gripped the beam his hands were bound to. "That's not-" She stroked her fingers across. "Aaaand you.." Squeezed. "...don't care…" Pulled open the belt buckle. "... do you?" He rested his head back on the pillow when she unzipped his pants, brow knitting when he felt her touch him. "... I thought not." Her fingers were cool. "Awesome." He bit the inside of his lip. Kashii was planning to let her do what she wanted, but just how much was she wanting to do here? It was a good thing she was being forward, but…

Shi, on the other hand, was completely absorbed, oblivious to Kashii's discomfort. _She_ did this to him, all by herself. It was a little bit of a proud moment for her. Kashii let out a heavy breath when she pulled his pants lower, staring intently at the cloth that bound his wrists. Black silk. It appeared to be the obi of the kimono he'd gotten her… such a nice use for it, Shi. He felt his ears start to burn when she tapped it a couple times, watching it bounce.

Shi was clearly amused. Her touch was starting to make him squirm. She wrapped her fingers around him and squeezed, waiting to garner a reaction. There was the creak of the fabric at his wrists growing tighter, but otherwise, nothing. Stiff, but still soft to the touch. And very warm. She bent it, testing, waiting to be reprimanded for causing pain. "...it's not a toy," he finally said, shifting uncomfortably."But it's so fun."

Kashii mumbled, nothing truly decipherable coming from his throat, then quieted. "..." Shi tilted her head at him. "Does it hurt?"He shifted under her touch again. "Well.. no, not really." She smirked."Then why are you complaining?"Kashii could think of scores of reasons to complain. He mumbled in response. "It's not _hurting_ I'm complaining about…" So many lines had been crossed the last few days, all starting with that kiss at the festival. Each kiss had been one he couldn't take back. Though he _knew _it was wrong, it didn't _feel_ that way. He was taking such care to not advance further even when his fingers itched to touch her at times. But it was more than obvious she had no such qualms.

"What _are_ you complaining about, then?"Again, he didn't answer, and felt the burn creep from his ears to his cheeks. Not fair."You make such cute faces sometimes, Kashii-chan." Goddamnit. He gripped the bedframe tighter, knuckles turning white. Focus on breathing… focus on _anything_… "Shut up…" He saw the uncharacteristic grin on her face when she rose to kiss his nose. She was so pretty when she smiled, she needed to do it more. He wrinkled his nose when she pulled back."It's not so nice being the cute one, is it?" He merely grunted in response. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take.

Shi smiled at his increasing discomfort."Do you really want me to stop?" Her breath was warm against his skin."Or are you only protesting because you _should?_" At this point, it was only a scrap of will he was hanging on to that kept him from pulling free. Of course it was because he _should_. And he couldn't help but glare at the obvious smugness she had. "I can see why all those women liked you." He huffed, looking up at the wooden ceiling. "Not like I ever let them tie me down." Kashii swore he could hear a laugh in her voice."'Let' being the key word."His breath was heavy. "I can break free if I wanted to. You know that, right?" A brow raised. "Tch, a genin could break free if they wanted to."

Kashii fell silent for a few moments. There was no argument against that. Even if he couldn't untie the knots on his wrists, he could snap the wood of the frame. Thankfully, he valued his possessions enough that he wouldn't. But he sure considered it. Finally, finally, he let out the breath he'd been holding. "...no…" he started, answering her question. "I don't want you to stop." She smiled. "I know."_Bitch._ He bit her lip when she kissed him. Kashii did _not_ like being in this position."But I like hearing you say that."_I bet you do._ He huffed again. She was enjoying the fuck out of this. He wanted to take the lead from her, but continued to resist, shivering when she licked his neck. She loved teasing him there since she found that spot, and it never failed to make him melt like butter.

"And this really is very fun. And informative." Naturally she'd find her source of fun toying with him, of all things. "... Cheater." She touched her fingers along his chest."Only fools play fair."He smirked in return. "All's fair in love and war, isn't that right?" A nod. It was the beginning of a war, wasn't it? At least, an internal battle for himself. She was _loving_ this.

Shi shifted herself lower, running her tongue across his hip. He bit his lip. She was coming awfully close…"Men are supposed to enjoy this, yes?" He shifted his hips. "...You would be correct." Has she been studying or something?"I would think having a woman's teeth near something so sensitive would make one uncomfortable." Another breath. "There's a bit of trust that comes into play there." She blew on the wet skin and glanced up at him. "Does this mean you trust me?" "Not to bite me? Yes."

She nipped his hip, and it made his nerves tingle. "Personally, sinking my teeth into some places on you sounds fascinating."He growled. She wasn't one of _those_ kinds, was she? "Does it, now?" Shi was amused."Shall I demonstrate?"Kashii wasn't exactly sure if he wanted to answer that question. But then, he didn't have to. She rose to meet his face again. "Those lips of yours are always nice to have my mouth on…"Kashii couldn't remember the last time his face had felt so hot when she bit his lip. What was he doing, allowing her to fluster him so badly?"Is this a bad place to bite?"He grumbled. "No, it's not."

It was true. Shi was completely enjoying this. She kissed down his jaw to the side of his neck, flicking her tongue across his skin. "..nnn…" He tasted salty. She was making him sweat. It was such a _gratifying_ feeling."And here?" she asked, "are my teeth welcome here?" Kashii shuddered at her touch, closing his eyes and focusing on the heat of her fingertips. "Yes." His voice caught in his throat when she nipped at him, tipping his head away so she could reach better. _Fuuuck.._ it felt so nice… He found himself wanting badly to sink his own fangs into her shoulder. But he continued to resist. She was truly putting his self-control to the test. That he lasted this long was truly a miracle at all.

Kashii raised his head to watch her as she moved back, nipping down his body as she went. He couldn't even think of what started this anymore. Just that she was making him burn, and it was taking everything in his power hold himself back. Hell, he wasn't even sure why he wanted to anymore."So the only place," He just knew that he absolutely-"You don't want my mouth…"had to keep himself- "Is here?" from touching her. His breath caught when she touched him. He bit his lip. "Just not your teeth."

She studied him for a moment."So as long as I don't touch with my teeth, I can do anything?" Kashii closed his eyes, realizing what he gave her permission to do, and nodded once. He dug his nails into the frame of the bed when he felt her finger trace the tip, a whine in his throat when it was replaced with her tongue. Kashii pulled at his bonds, wanting so desperately to touch her. But the silk rope reminded him that he couldn't. For someone so inexperienced, she was certainly doing a great job. She paused when his breath got heavier. "Do you want me to stop?"He grit his teeth and shook his head. "_Not yet."_ "As you wish," came the purr of his student. Kashii drew up a knee, bucking his hips when he felt her mouth once more.

After a few minutes, he became increasingly aware that she needed to stop. She needed to stop _now_. "Shiii…" he panted, breath heavy. "Now is a .. good time to st-a-ah!-op." Not good, not good at all. Naturally, she completely ignored him for the first time today. Wonder of wonders. His voice was deep and husky. "Shiii…" She continued to ignore the plea, humming. Regardless of the reason, she liked the sound of her name on his lips.

Biologically, Shi knew _exactly_ what was about to happen if she didn't stop. But unlike the memories, he was _allowing_ her, rather than _making_ her. She could do what she liked without him interfering, and frankly the expression he was wearing, along with the sounds he was making, was what urged her on. Kashii deserved a reward for all the kindness he'd been giving her. She wasn't going to stop. He _knew_ she wasn't going to. And she wasn't stopping and he couldn't stop his hips and he was going to- "Nngh!" ..._fuck_...

"You taste better than I expected,"she said after a few moments, observing, wiping her glanced down at her. "Hah? … thank you?" Shi crawled up his body, standing on her knees at his waist. "Would you like to return the favor?" Her fingers gripped the edge of her shirt, ready to pull it over her head. "No! No… I think I've had enough fun for today." _Like hell. _She tilted her head and smirked. Was the puppy all worn out? That, of course, couldn't be farther than the truth. She reached up to undo the knots binding him."_LEAVE IT,"_he barked at her, then panted, regaining his composure. He wanted so badly to dig his fingers, his teeth, his everything into her flesh. "..Leave it. Let me alone for a bit." Amused, Shi did as told, wiping the sweat from his brow before getting off the bed. She paused before heading out the door."It was a good lesson, _sensei_. Let's have class again soon." He growled, saying nothing.

When the door closed behind her, he ripped his hands free from the silk, rubbing his wrists at the marks it had left. Glancing at the door, he tugged up his pants, falling back against the pillow. "A good lesson," indeed. He waited a good while longer before hanging his legs off the edge of the bed. If he came out any sooner, he'd definitely pin her up against something and strip her. His hands gripped the edge of the bed, and he retrieved the black knife, placing it back into its leather sheath on the table. Yeah. He'd need to linger a little longer. Balling up his destroyed shirt, he tossed it in the trash, not even going to bother trying to repair it. Kashii shook his head. Nope. If this happened again, he'd give her a taste of her own medicine. She wasn't the only one here who knew how to use their teeth and tongue. That in mind, he stood, heading to rummage for a new shirt. It would happen again. Once, one thousand times. "God_damn_it, Shi…"


	11. Relax

Jitters is the best fucking British star-nosed mole ever. This is set like two months after the previous chapter. Kashii got his revenge on her. /o/ Never finished writing those so they will not exist here. Bonking means sex. But there's nothing mature in this chapter.

* * *

Kashii sat at the edge of a rocky ledge, pants rolled to his knees, bare feet dipped into the water. It was relaxing here. From behind him he could hear the sounds of Cat, Rufus, and Saiko playing together. Shi was gone, on a mission to somewhere. It was a hot day. Frankly, it never really got very hot here in the mountains, but today was an exception to that rule.

"Watcha!"

Kashii almost didn't hear when he was addressed, the sounds of the water falling blocking out any normal speaking voice. A sharp blow to the back of his head caught his attention though, and he nearly tumbled into the rippling water. "The hell you doing?" He growled, holding his head and turning around. "Prat. I been tryin' to talk to you." A gold glare looked upward, a fleshy, wriggly nose close to his face. "Yes, Jitters?" Rarely did she make it a point to chat with him. But rarely did he make it a point to summon his three moles just for the company. She sat next to him, long claws clicking on the rock. "'Ad a row with your bird, did ya?" Kashii hummed, the mole's manner of speech always foreign to him. "I wouldn't call it a 'row' specifically…" Just a little squabble before she'd left, really. It had been a few days ago. He wasn't sure when she'd return. But it seemed even Jitters picked up that kicked puppy look.

But that wasn't what the point of today was. He glanced back to his daughter, giggling and laughing and tumbling in the dirt with the three animals. This area was a bit closed off, a good ways out from the village, but he still needed to keep a good eye on her. There were caves and water pools here that she could tumble into. It was one of these caves where he'd fallen and stumbled into the moles to begin with. He glanced back to Jitters, who was watching a fish in the water. "What's got you being so nice all of a sudden?"Very suspicious. She looked back to him, entire head turning. She'd known Kashii a very long time. Something was different this time. The bird he was fluttering with now…

"That girl…" Her claws tapped on the stone. "A bit of 'ow's your father', is it?" Kashii tilted his head in puzzlement at her, the sudden change in topic strange. "He's… fine?" Daft child, this one. Being polite wouldn't cut it, not for a beastly git like him. "Sod it all…" she muttered, glancing back to the tyke in the background. "'Ave you been bonkin' 'er, child?" Gold eyes came into focus when the meaning clicked in his head, and he looked away from the mole and back out across the water. "Aye…" Jitters hummed to herself, clicking her sharp teeth together. She didn't care much for the affairs of humans, but the totty had asked her to keep tabs on him now and then. She knew enough that his answer was distasteful, to put it lightly. "Be a shame to throw a spanner in the works, ind'nut?"

Kashii's teeth grit, fingernails scraping in the rock he was sitting on. "You wouldn't dare…"It wasn't even a question, the tone indicated it was closer to a threat. She smiled, a rather unbecoming jagged-toothed grin. "Judgin' by that queer look, I 'it a nerve, di'nt I?"Tch… Already not good. He glared at the mole. She always found ways to rile him up. "You breathe one word of this to that woman," he hissed, voice low so he wouldn't be overheard, "and I'll be wearing myself a new moleskin coat." She snorted, fleshy whiskers wriggling. She knew that the totty was the last person the prat would want to learn about his relationship with his student. Something about morality, something only humans possessed, would be the prime issue. He'd have quite a wobbler if the totty did learn, and the resulting row would be amusing. Perhaps she would tattle, just for amusement.

On the other side of the clearing, the beasts and Saiko were having a ball playing on the jungle gym that was Bee's massive claws. Although he couldn't see them, he could feel them and hear them prancing around. Oh, to be young again. He shifted his claws, and the young ones seemed to enjoy the bumpy ride. Cat helped Saiko climb up onto Bee's paw, and the girl snuggled into his thick fur. "Soooft." The large mole chuckled. "T'anks."

Kashii considered diving headfirst in the water to mask the irritation. There was a chance that Jitters would tell Soyokaze. He had no leverage with the mole and she didn't even seem to like him that much. That she'd stuck around this long was a miracle in and of itself. Kashii knew how Soyokaze worked. A warm smile and a professional face, sweet words and a strict regimen, the woman was a wolf in sheep's clothing. At a greater scale than Kashii could ever hope to achieve. Most people never believe him when he talks about how frightening that woman can be. No, frankly the only one he could have that mutual conversation with was the Aburame.

And if Soyokaze found out about Shi. What he was doing with Shi. Even if the feelings between them were mutual, even if they were both happy with it, no regrets. Kashii had breached the professional relationship between them as teacher and student, superior and subordinate, adult and minor. Truly it mattered little to him. He'd done many things as a shinobi who accepted lowly jobs. That he'd resisted Shi's advancements toward him as long as he had was to hang on to that scrap of professionalism he was supposed to have with her. Naturally a man can only handle so much before succumbing to feminine wiles… and she had been very insistent.

But, his sensei would not see it that way. And that was what worried him. Kashii had seen her cripple a man for less, and he doubted she'd ease up on him just because she'd named him one of her favorite students. He doubted Soyo-sensei would hurt Shi. But she'd hurt him. He'd accept whatever punishment she'd have in store for him, but… If he became damaged over this, he wouldn't be able to protect Saiko nor Shi. There was the possibility that the woman would take both girls away from him. Kashii wasn't sure if he could deal with that kind of loss. Not again.

Another smack across the back of the head brought his attention to the mole. "Bloody git, no wonder. You can't 'old a proper chat with any'un." He blinked, rubbing the spot where her claws had hit. "...Sorry. It's just that I… well…" What do you say to a bitchy old mole about relationship problems?

Jitters seemed smug. The usual cocky prick she was used to dealing with had mellowed over the last few years. Prat may even become likable yet. Perhaps he needed a break. Her heavy paw rested on his head. "Stroppy child… either put paid it to it or get it sorted between your bird and the tottie." Easier said than done. Kashii knew his parents accepted it, they were an open sort of people, but to get his sensei's blessing, as his previous teacher… There were so few people in this world Kashii feared, and that woman was at the top of his list. It would be better if she found out from him rather than his mole. He'd need to arrange a meeting with her. And soon.

"I'll… sort it out." He looked back to his daughter. He needed to. For the sake of this "family" he'd created. Jitters watched him for a moment, large paw sliding behind his back. "Don' get your life in a shambles over this." With a push, she shoved the bluenette clean off the rock with her strong arm, leaving him airborne for a moment before crashing under the surface. He sunk under for a moment before surfacing. "You crazy bitch." The weight of his clothes bogging him down, Kashii swam to the edge of the lake, clinging to the rock. Well, he was already wet now. He peeled off his shirt and tossed it on the rock. "Saiko! Come play in the water!" Yeah, he'd sort this all out. But not today.

With a rather amused expression, the mole got to her feet, waddling away from the water and from the group, adjusting her white scarf. It would be amusing to watch this play out. She did take pleasure in making life difficult for her beastly summoner. She scraped the claws of her right paw against the hard, gravelly earth. Aye, it was enough for the day. With a powerful thrust, her paw sunk into the earth, and it took moments for her to scoop out the dirt and tunnel away from this nonsense.


	12. Dead

**Also skeleton-format. Will also eventually probably maybe be put into proper format. Gosh I'm lazy. Following after Relax, the conversation that would occur on the subject of Kashii being together with Shi, as well as side comments. Soyokaze, Eri, and Abe belong to her, Kashii belongs to me. Not everything that's been uploaded on this fic was collaborated like this one and Conversation, but some were and then written out properly.**

* * *

Friend: also, is kashii actually doing shi?

Friend: Oh, it dose appear he is.

Friend: Wow

Cougar: Bitch deer.

Cougar: And.

Cougar: She started it.

Cougar: For once it wasn't him who started it. FOR ONCE. *flips table*

Soyokaze: You gave into the insistent seduction of a child? Are you joking?

Kashii: Aaand that's why I'd rather you heard it from me than the mole.

Friend: There is no saving him from this one

Cougar: Didn't expect there was

Soyokaze: I'm sorry, I just have trouble reconciling the idea that your willpower is so nonexistent and your taste so deviant that it ever felt like seduction in the first place.

Kashii: *hangs head* Do your worst.

Soyokaze: My worst? You have no concept of what that is. It makes the castration and maiming you're picturing in your head seem pleasant.

Kashii: ...

Soyokaze: But what is going to really hurt is what I'm about to say. You're just repeating the same pattern that you have been your entire life. Either you refuse any sort of attachment or pick the most emotionally shattered person available to you.

Kashii: Aye...

Soyokaze: Maybe you have delusions of being able to help her, of the redemptive power of love. But tell me, what is it that you love about her? The way she self destructively trains, her fixation on inappropriately older men, her inability to socialize normally with her peers? How about her glaring lack of loyalty to this country? Tell me Kashii, let me hear your story that can move even my cold heart.

Kashii: I think there is nothing that can move your cold heart.

Soyokaze: Try, give me your best shot. Tell me why I should give you my consent.

Kashii: *Shifts uncomfortably* She... produces a warm feeling. One I never felt with Nishimura. I'm... she makes me happy. I haven't felt happy in a long time. And, Saiko loves her.

Soyokaze: You did the same for me once.

Kashii: It was different with you.

Soyokaze: Because I understood the place of a teacher and a mentor.

Kashii: Aye.

Soyokaze: Or do you not recall trying your very best to seduce me?

Kashii: I seduced everyone then. Or tried to.

Soyokaze: That is true, for years that was the case. And I never once considered it. Never Kashii.

Kashii: I'm not asking you to forgive me. What I've done cannot be forgiven, I'm very aware.

Soyokaze: I'm not asking for you to apologize. I think you understood that would be the case from the beginning.

Kashii: Aye, I did.

Soyokaze: Then let us end this. You could not have shamed me more if you had defected, to me you are dead. I will not acknowledge you in any way from this day forward but I will watch.

Kashii: ... aye, sensei.

Soyokaze: If I see anything that leads me to believe that Saiko would benefit from being an orphan then that will become the case.

Kashii: ...understood...

Soyokaze: You may go.

Kashii: *slight bow, leaves wordlessly*

Friend: And that would be that

Cougar: I'm thinking

Cougar: he would have preferred a beating

Friend: Thats his problem.

Friend: She'd normally kill someone for what he did.

Cougar: Then he got off easy

Friend: Letting him off with a shunning is a concession to the fact that she cares and he might straighten up if only for the reality check.

Friend: Easy is a relative statement. Given the way Kashii conducts himself he's probably gotten by in the village as well as he has because of her patronage.

Friend: Internal affairs: What the hell? I could have sworn I had another file on my desk.

Cougar: I wouldn't doubt that

Cougar: He's an ambiguous individual

Friend: Who does not fill out paperwork or bow to authority properly.

Cougar: paperwork he fills out, bowing to proper authority.. maybe not so much

Friend: Also, Soyokaze is being dead honest. She'll never recognize him again even if he does straighten up.

Cougar: And if he doesn't?

Friend: If he steps out of line in any way again she'll deal with him as she would a stranger.

Cougar: Mmmh

Friend: She could do it at the moment if she had to

Friend: And she will if anything goes on that endangers Saiko.

Friend: Like if Shi tries and of her bullshit training methods with the kid.

Friend: *any

Cougar: That wouldn't be tolerated even with him

Friend: I'm just saying

Cougar: he intends to shelter saiko away from ninja stuff as long as he can, so that she won't want to endanger herself with the risks that come with being a shinobi. Overprotective papa wolf.

Friend: lol

Cougar: Sides she looks better in frilly dresses

Friend: So, would the part where Soyokaze said she made him happy when she trained him have hurt? Especially given what's become of his relationship with Shi?

Friend: *he made her happy

Cougar: A bit, since there was no true argument on that note. But he wasn't referring to training in that regard

Friend: Soyokaze took more of an interest in Kashii than just training and their relationship had lasted since that time and grown personal

Cougar: If he thought of her as -anything- outside professional sensei-student relationship...

Cougar: it would probably be as an older sister

Friend: Right, because she kept strict lines drawn in certain departments

Cougar: That or a second mother.

Cougar: Probably closer to second mother.

Friend: So she had the feels, she just didn't allow them to stray into improper areas

Cougar: lol she had the feels. srsly?

Friend: Indeed

Friend: All sorts of emotions, many of which she'd be years away from giving names

Cougar: Interesting.

Friend: None of them were sexual though

Friend: He was younger than her and the nature of their relationship precluded that

Cougar: That information would have thrown him for a loop if he'd ever learned it.

Cougar: And probably send him into hiding forever.

Cougar: FOREVER

Friend: In her mind its worse than a normal predator taking advantage of someone when there is a relationship like that in place.

Cougar: Indeed

Friend: Well, he'll probably find out from Abe. Sort of.

Cougar: Sort of

Cougar: Abe and Soyo were the only two people he was especially worried about

Abe: Well, it looks like you have a handle on things now and Saiko is old enough that she'll be able to look after herself soon. I'm out.

Cougar: And it was only soyo who actually frightens him

Abe: Just to be clear, this is it. I dont know you, you dont know me.

Kashii: yay I've been disowned by two people over the same subject. Saw that coming. /sarcasm

Cougar: Abe never especially liked him to begin with, the loss is not great with this one. *yoda*

Abe: Yeah, I saw Soyokaze-san cried over it the day it happened.

Cougar: But soyo

Cougar: Despite his fear of her

Cougar: his respect for her was much greater

Friend: Where as with Abe it was the kid reaching out and making certain his former sensei was okay instead of the other way around.

Cougar: Losing the respect she had for him would be a hard blow that would stay with him for a long time

Friend: I think Kashii would probably notice Abe's absence in his life after a while.

Cougar: No doubt

Cougar: Though they've has so little interaction officially i'm not even sure where their relationship stands

Friend:Kashii: Wait, what was the diaper rash cream called? Shit, I threw out the empt. *picks up phone to call abe, then remembers*

Cougar: Lmao

Cougar: She's two she's likely potty trained

Cougar: and not on formula either

Cougar: just minced solids

Cougar: At the end of the day, he's had a strange relationship with all three of his students, individually.

Cougar: And it brings him back to his thoughts when they assigned him the team.

Cougar: What the -hell- were the higher ups thinking, giving /him/ a team?

Cougar: Although back then it was due to lack of confidence.

Cougar: Now it's because he does a pretty good job of fucking up his life.

Cougar: No more Soyo also means no more Eri

Cougar: He actually liked the kid

Cougar: And treated him like crystal GOD FORBID the kid get hurt and report to mama

Friend: lol

Eri: KAAAAASHIIIII! Are you really a pedophile? *seems weirdly excited by the idea* Because then my first mission can be to arrest you!

Kashii: Iiii. Am going home now.

Eri: I'll get written up for excessive brutality! *does a little happy dance*

Kashii: *facepalm* How about I distract you with the prospect of icecream instead?

Eri: Deal.

Soyokaze: *Soyokaze walks up and collects him*

Kashii: :c

Soyokaze: Pardon his intrusion. It wont happen again.

Kashii: ...Right. Uh. *backs away and leaves* *spends the rest of the day sulking*

Soyokaze: *Soyokaze does not react significantly, he's probably seen her do the same when eri pesters strangers*

Cougar: Surprised she wouldn't comment about allowing a pedophile to interact with her son.

Cougar: Especially considering Eri even knows that word.

Friend: Probably from Abe actually.

Abe: Kotone was literally throwing herself at me and despite us being the same age and my liking her I never laid a hand on her. I can't abide that kind of violation of trust and knowing what those pedophiles did to her gives me nightmares.

Soyokaze: Shhh, I understand, have some tea.

Eri: *spying*

Cougar: Kashii killed all of them. He was unhappy too.

Cougar: Sent in a report, too

Cougar: A thorough, properly detailed one.

Friend: Yeah, then he starts doing it with Shi.

Cougar: To be fair Kotone was like 12 and it was indicated this had been going on for quite some time

Friend: Dude, not the point

Friend: He gets mad at other people for getting it on with kids

Friend: Then does one of his own students

Cougar: He is aware.

Cougar: He is very aware of all the wrong things he's done and is doing. And he has no intention of justifying himself.

Friend: Like that helps.

Cougar: Nothing will help.

Friend: Very true.

Cougar: And he is aware that he has fucked up pretty good.

Friend: And is doing nothing about it.

Friend: And lost the two more supportive figures in his life outside of his parents.

Friend: Who are okay with what he's doing god knows why.

Cougar: They are a very open people. They were the ones that raised him after all and you can see how he turned out.

Cougar: Though ikaderp didn't help.

* * *

**On the note of pedophilia as the topic, Kashii is 21 and Shi is 16; a five year difference. If we're going to be technical, the term would be ephebophila. She's 16, not 6. /o/**


	13. Guilt

Again, strange emotions. As if he didn't have enough of those. But the pain in his chest, it was the worst pain he'd _ever_ felt. No wound or lost love could have compared to this. He felt heavy when he finally came home, resting his head against the frame for a good while before sliding the door open. Kashii wasn't sure if he had a mask solid enough to hide these emotions if Shi was behind this door. For sure, he'd be incapable of looking her in the eye. He only felt heavier.

Thankfully, the girl wasn't in sight. But she was on the property, he could tell that much. Kashii kicked his shoes off, not even bothering to stop to hang his jacket up, instead just dropping it on the short table as he passed. He took the route to the left, avoiding passing the living spaces, heading towards the dining area. No one here. Perfect. Not even Cat. He took a seat at a table, covering his head with his arms, hunched over so far his face nearly touched the table's surface.

"Fuuuck… what am I doing…" he muttered to himself. He'd expected so much from Soyokaze. Breaking his legs, arms. Castration, even. Crippling him permanently. But the pain from that was incomparable to what actually happened. He would no longer exist for her. For all the fear Kashii had for her, his respect for her had been more than double. He'd broken that trust she had for him. He never _felt_ he was doing anything wrong with Shi, no, even though he _knew_ he was, somewhere in the back of his mind. It was so… difficult. Even if she were over eighteen… Soyokaze was right, in a sense. He was a teacher, Shi was the student. That relationship should have never been pursued further. And yet, he had allowed it.

Kashii had allowed her advancements toward him. Sure, he resisted a lot of things. Before that night at the festival, the night she'd first kissed him of her own volition… he knew there was something… _wrong_ with the way he was beginning to feel for her. Long before then he'd stopped thinking of her as just his "student." He'd allowed her to come live with him. Sure, the house was impossibly large and many people could come live with him without space being violated. She'd been kicked out of her own apartment. Kashii couldn't just _turn her away_ like that. But he could have found her a place to stay.

One girl wasn't going to make a difference. But in the end, she did. He'd allowed her to kiss him. He allowed it not just once, but many times. No, he never approached her. He'd allowed her to lay with him, to touch him, more intimately than their relationship should have allowed. Allowed her to share his bed at night, for the simple reason her dreams were bad. Still, he wouldn't approach her.

Shi hadn't been satisfied with that. She'd pushed it further. Tied him down. It would have taken a matter of seconds to loose himself and reject her. But he hadn't. He'd allowed her to do that, and allowed _all_ the things she chose to do to him, without fight. Even after that, he still would not approach her. By then it was bordering on much too late. It had taken all of his willpower not to touch her inappropriately, even after all she did to him. He allowed her advances and reciprocated in kind. Kisses, hugs, snuggles. But he never took it a step further. When she'd crossed that line by herself…

He had been running out of options. Even if he wasn't approaching her for these things. Even if he didn't advance further than she allowed, even if he didn't try advancing at all beyond what she tried with him, even though he had told her on the night she kissed him during their "date," "_There are things I don't __**want**_ _to do, and there are things I'm not __**allowed**_ _to do… Please… don't make me break my own rules."_ By simply allowing those things, he'd broken those rules. He'd been damned the moment he allowed Shi to kiss him. His first instinct had been to shove her away, and he almost did, but it was that _almost_ that made this all fall onto his shoulders. "Almost" didn't cut it. He'd instead shoved her against the stall and kissed her hard. What had he been thinking.

Kashii had known she wanted to sleep with him since the night of the festival. She'd even intruded on his bath when he'd fallen asleep there by accident. He'd rejected the idea instantly. But as the conversation drug on into the night, he'd decided to allow that, as well. Not for personal reasons, no. Not at all. He was reluctant to touch her in that way. But… the reasons she had been giving him, on _why_… Although he said he felt otherwise, he did feel pity. He'd done less than desirable things with a stony face on multiple occasions. If she had felt she needed this from him… he felt like he was capable of supplying, as long has he kept his mind elsewhere.

Of course, after that night, even though he'd still rejected sleeping with her, he'd allowed her to hold him, and he held her in return. She had forced herself into his mind in a way he didn't want to think about. She'd tried harder and harder to seduce him. And he tried harder and harder to resist. Kissing had been bad enough. The fact he was coming to enjoy that was even _worse._

Kashii rubbed his temples, completely absorbed in thought. Because of his mistakes, he would never be allowed to see Soyo-sensei again. At least, not as the sensei he'd always known. She'd treat him as nothing more than a stranger, and she'd expect the same from him. Truly, truly a frightening woman. Probably the number one influence he'd had in his 22 years of life. And he'd forcefully severed that bond. Was what he was doing really worth the consequences? At first, he had thought "No." He would accept whatever punishment she'd give to him. That's how he had felt. He supposed that was the better alternative to losing Shi and Saiko. But… what would be considered "crossing the line again" with her?

The moment he had found Shi in his room, in his bed, prostrating herself for him. He had the option to shoo her out, tell her to get dressed, to go back to her room. But he hadn't taken that option. Finally, _finally,_ he'd decided to give in to her. Clearly, she wanted him badly enough to do this to him. It had made his chest feel heavy. Though, really, there were no rules left to break, he'd clung onto the scrap of nonsense that it would be okay, as long as he never _actually_ slept with her. But he gave in to her. He'd tied her down, letting her taste what she'd done to him. He did his best to make her feel good in ways she'd never felt before. To the point where she'd unintentionally blasted him when her pleasure had peaked. And the worst thing? The worst thing about the whole scenario? He had _enjoyed_ it.

It hadn't even been a matter of morality at that point. It was a thing he'd temporarily forgotten. He'd given in to her. He _wanted _her. He'd untied her when he was finished "teaching" her. And she had stayed there, continuing to want him. And he had sex with her, that same night. He had fucked his student. And in essence, he'd fucked himself ten times over, all in the same moment. And he had continued to do it. He continued to allow her advances. Slept with her when she wanted him to.

But the guilt that he continued to be riddled with, it never left. Perhaps that was why he never approached her, not of his own accord. He was very well aware he'd crossed lines that should never have been crossed. Every time he looked at her, every time he touched her, he thought about the things he was doing. Kashii _knew_ it was wrong. His stomach churned sometimes, knowing he was committing a rather unforgivable thing with her. Yet… and yet… it never felt wrong when he was together with her. He loved spending time together with her. Is this truly what he wanted? "No regrets?" That's what he said. That he was okay with what he was doing, that he'd stand by his decision, and that he would have no regrets.

Kashii folded his arms on the table, resting his face down, hair shielding him. For having no regrets, his chest hurt too damn much. This was a significant loss. But he'd need to pull through. Shi didn't need to know about this, and he certainly wouldn't be the one to tell her. Just what was he doing, acting like a horny teenager again? Falling hard for a _sixteen-year-old?_ She may be nearing 17, but he was nearing 22. He wasn't that kid he was before. Kashii couldn't say he knew what "love" felt like. That "love" he had thought he shared with Nishimura… he had learned it to be a false feeling. That hadn't been love. It had been a sickness. But this love… If he had to put a feeling to that label, it would have to be that feeling he'd get when he spent time with her. Not just the sex, no, not at all. Just simply enjoying her company. No matter what was going on with him, Shi was definitely showing an improvement in her overall demeanor. Kashii had no doubt he was the cause of that. He wanted to close off these feelings he was developing for the girl. There would be a lot of hell for the both of them, especially if it had become public knowledge. Was this a sickness, too?

There would be a time where she'd open up, Kashii was sure of that. Be able to interact with other people. Perhaps find someone better than him. She didn't need to be staying with a guy like him. But right now… right now he was the closest thing she had to a good relationship. With _anyone_. He was acting as a medicine, in a perverse, irreversible way. She was improving so much. She was already so much different than the girl he'd first met in that classroom four years ago. There really wasn't any turning back from this. Did he want to remove Shi from his life? No, never. He would always want to keep her close. She'd become a part of this family he'd created. He'd never want to let that go. But she was only sixteen. While he truly wasn't much older himself, he'd seen a lot more of the world than she had. He couldn't bind her to himself. Kashii could likely spend the rest of his life alone. He was a bad omen to those he got into relationships with. He could always try to be an older brother to her, if things really did not work out between them.

But at the same time… Kashii didn't want that. He didn't want to play "older brother" to the girl. He didn't want to be just her "sensei" anymore. Not her mentor, or a therapist, or any of the roles he was supposed to be playing with her. Kashii wanted Shi to _remain_ his lover. To be his "mate," as the cats would put it. And again… it brought him back to the conversation. Soyokaze said she'd give Saiko to an orphanage if he stepped out of line again, if she deemed that a better place for the child than staying with him. An orphaned child is so because she has no parent to love her. And the world knew just _how much_ he loved his daughter. He sat up, absently stroking his throat. He had no doubt in his mind that his former sensei would not hesitate to kill him, should it arise. She'd indicated it with her words to him. Would she snap his neck? Slice his throat? Pierce his heart? There would be no price steep enough should Soyokaze deem his own home unsafe for Saiko. Oh, this ache…

He just wanted to break down. Kashii had absolutely no idea what to do now. He wanted to make the choice that was ultimately best for Shi, even if she would not think so. But what _was_ that choice? Continue to show his affections for her? To wholeheartedly accept hers? To change absolutely nothing, to never allow her to learn of the turmoil that had come with trying to obtain his sensei's blessing? It wasn't even a blessing he'd wanted from her. Not even acceptance. Just… acknowledgement. To have told her himself without her finding out about his misdeeds from an outside source. To lessen the hatred she'd probably show to him. But what he had received from it… He had wanted so badly to run. Run, with his tail tucked so far between his legs it brushed his belly. But Namame Kashii never runs from the things he rightfully deserves.

He rest his head in his hand, eyes covered. What to do, what to do… he needed to compose himself. If Shi found him like this… completely torn up… he wouldn't be able to lie to her. Not to her face, not when it was so very obvious that something was not right with him. It would just create a wall between them… This was not a face he could allow her to see. Kashii did not want to let her know that, ultimately, he was just short of self-destructing, and it was all because of the decision he had made with her. It was not her fault, but at the same time it was. But _everything__**was**_ Kashii's fault. He was kind to the people he cared about, especially if they needed someone to care for them. Shi had an emptiness that he felt the express need to fill. No, he'd never intended to fill it the way he was now. But she seemed to need what he was giving her. And he'd continue to supply it.

Perhaps if he had not been so kind, she wouldn't have felt the attachment to him that she did. Perhaps if he had tried to direct her from a different standpoint. Not treat her as a girl but merely as a precious student. He could still give her the kindness she needed. But it wouldn't have crossed any boundaries. If it was physical contact, there was little wrong with a hug now and then. There was nothing wrong with taking her out now and then, a reward for doing well in training or even just because. Even if she did begin feeling some care for him beyond just being her sensei, it would have at best been as a reliable big brother. And that's what he had wanted. The night she'd told him she wanted to sleep with him, he learned that he'd achieved the same level of affections from her as her cat, whom she treated like a little brother.

"Nnrgh…" He was making his head hurt. His chest hurt. His whole body felt heavy, like an ache. It had been nearly a year since he'd felt this way, but he wanted to do nothing more than curl up under the blanket in bed. As comforting and inviting as that sounded… Kashii knew it would solve nothing. It solved nothing then, and it would solve nothing now. It would merely delay the inevitable. His teeth grit. Why… why did this have to be so difficult? Is this how it's supposed to feel? It wasn't as if he had lost just his mentor, he'd lost a woman whom he had thought of as a mother in his early teen years, even if she was truly only seven years older than he was. She certainly treated him well enough, and was often more constructive with him than his true mother ever was. He was aware that his relationship with Soyokaze was closer than that of her other students. But it was absolutely nothing like this. She'd always held a degree of professionalism when interacting with him. Kashii wasn't stupid, he was well aware that she'd pulled strings when he'd fucked up in the past. This was a fuck-up that even she could not tolerate.

But again, did he feel regret? Certainly he felt bitter, and he felt like he'd lost something important to him. But was there regret in that myriad of emotions he was feeling now? Kashii wasn't unfamiliar with the feelings of regret. The images that plagued his nights were testament enough to that. He was feeling many things. Loss, bitterness, despair, hate, guilt, misery. But what he was _not_ feeling was regret. Yes, he would continue giving that girl everything she wanted from him, and much more. Two years. In two years, he will take his "family" and leave. Soyokaze told him that he could not have shamed her more if he defected. Perhaps he could test that theory. But then, he'd _truly_ be on the run from her. And Kashii knew, no matter how fast he ran, no matter how far he got, in the end, she'd find him. And that would be the end of Namame Kashii.

He let out a heavy breath, voice choking in his throat. Composure, composure, come on Namame, you can do better than this… In, out, in, out… he steadied his breathing. Another heavy breath, and he held himself together. Must. Not. Be. Weak. He promised he'd show his weaknesses to Shi as he had asked her to rely on him. But this was something he couldn't possibly share with her. He could only hope his shell was thick enough to keep it inside. He was doubting. And that doubt would create a rift. He needed to settle things himself. Come to terms with the repercussions. He had made his choice, and he would continue to stand by it. He wanted to eradicate that doubt. When he was secure about all this shit, yeah, _then_ he'd tell her.

But for now, he probably needed to be alone. It was still midday, but he wanted to crawl in bed. Sleep. A good 12 hours of nightmares would make all _this_ seem a little less bad. He thunked his forehead on the table. It never ceased to amaze him how these "emotions" were so taxing. Sometimes he wished he could go back to the time when he truly felt _nothing._

Kashii knew Saiko was with Shi. He knew he'd be absolutely useless for _anyone_ in this state. Tomorrow, he'd be just like always. Smile, laugh, do all the things he was supposed to do. He just needed a day. No, even just half a day. Pushing away from the table, he stood, feeling a little unsteady on his feet. Fuck, this was awful. Worse than being drunk, for sure. And god, if he didn't feel like draining that bottle of liquor in the cabinet…

Kashii shook his head to clear that thought. No, that would only make things much worse. But sleeping wouldn't be enough, he knew that. He headed back out the the main room, retrieving his jacket. It was light now; he only fully armed when he anticipated he needed to be. He had one of the side rooms stocked like a mini armory. The door had been affixed with a lock high up where Saiko couldn't reach, and he unlatched it, heading in to line his jacket, his holsters, his everything with as much as would fit. Wires, kunai, shuriken, even the hooks. He rarely used the hooks, but it wouldn't hurt now and then. He wanted to use his entire arsenal. He'd love to paperbomb as well, but that would cause damage he may not be able to fix. He'd have to deal with carving every single one of these damned emotions out of the wooden posts with every knife, throwing star, wire, everything he had. He'd likely charr them out of existence. His fingertips crackled with irritation. He really felt the need to destroy something. And then, when he'd exhausted everything he had. Strung up that room like a razor spiderweb. Burned scorchmarks where every blade had embedded. Then, _then_, he would allow the nightmares to consume him.

Love bites, doesn't it?


	14. Love

Mushy lovey. D: The active conversation part was collaborated completely between myself and KatSin. The conversation may be difficult to read. I'm having trouble with my writing style concerning dialogue. I don't usually have conversations this heavy when I'm writing and therefore don't usually have this problem. When we roleplay, we generally color our text. Every character has their own color, and therefore it's easy to tell who's saying what and it's usually not even necessary to denote who's speaking because of that. Because of that habit, I color my text when I write in my google docs, even if I'm writing alone.

* * *

When was the last time Kashii really let loose? Who knows. Since Saiko he'd stopped accepting dangerous jobs. But it just wasn't enough. His body twisted, an array of stars sinking into a wooden beam on the wall. Another forceful throw, and the wires between them grew taught, connecting to the floor, the ceiling, the dummy posts. More, more. He hadn't created that beautiful latticework he was once capable of. Too soft, not enough. Thrown kunai weaved through the existing wires, embedding deeply into the frame that marked the front of the dojo, where the weapons swords, wooden and real, were intended to be kept. That godforsaken sword, should he keep it? Destroy it?

Slowly, slowly, he was building his web. His net. One of those traps he used to pride himself in. In such a large space, it was impressive. His arsenal still held many blades. Again, again. Harder, faster. Weaving between those wires that were so easy to miss, hard to see. Into the door frame. It must not be opened. Crossed his wires across the entrance. "Don't enter this place" it seemed to say. And it was just as well. Because the sheer amount of electricity that spread from his fingers, anyone would have been completely incinerated. Was this helping? Possibly. More. Shock until the metal itself melted. Wires snapping. The scent of scorched wood. No, not enough. Not enough at all.

What was he going to do? Kashii couldn't find the answer. All these fucking feelings. Each blade embedding into the wood, each representing something he was afraid of feeling. Electrocuting was not enough. He needed to completely _destroy_ them.

A feline face jumped away when the sheer static from the window zapped him in the face. Rubbing his face with his paw, static cracking from his whiskers, he looked around. What should he do? He'd never seen his sister's master in such a state. Should he tell his sister? What would she do? Should she tell his Shi? She would worry. He should talk to Cat first. Perhaps she had seen this before. Perhaps she knew how to stop it.

Cat's ear twisted when she heard her brother galloping towards her. A headbutt, and the static in his fur made her own stand on end. "My sister," the male panted, "Something isn't right." She tilted her head to the side. "What's wrong, Jun?" His tail twitched. "Come." Unseen, Shi had watched the cats' display with interest. She had a pretty good idea what was happening, sort of. The sheer amount of chakra she was feeling from the side of the property certainly _was_ something for the felines to be concerned about. '_Idiot...'_

Certainly, though, the flickering blue light that came from the windows was worrisome. What _was_ that idiot doing in there? Jutsu was not typically allowed in the dojo, he'd set that rule himself to prevent damage. It seemed something was bothering him enough to drop that concern; she could smell the burned wood from here. The cats both stood stretched on the pathway, poking their noses into the window. Cat had seen him damage things to relieve stress. Just exhaust himself until there was no energy _left_ to be stressed with. But she had never seen him do it this way. He was short of injuring _himself_. Oft times lightning had a backlash, it was just the nature of the element. The entire room held a static crackle.

Kashii was getting tired, using as much power as he could. It was getting better. Just a bit. If he wasn't feeling so stressed, then he could sit and sort out these things properly. It was like trying to walk straight and sound like a scholar after fifteen shots of vodka. It just wasn't going to work that way. And he could personally attest to that. Destroying things was a great stress relief. Perhaps that was why he always relished ignoring his specialties, charging in instead to personally _feel_ those lives he was so forcefully ripping away.

When the sound of wires snapping, kunai being forcefully torn from the walls, the door forced open, he twisted around with a growl, fingers still attached to the razor wire. Seeing her figure in the doorway, his expression broke. "Ah… fuck." She took in the state of the interior, and the state of him. "Talk to me when you're finished." And by that point, the fight had drained. When she closed the door, leaving, he dropped to his ass, casting off the wires, and taking in the extent of the damage and havoc he'd wreaked. It hadn't even crossed his mind really. Just so much aggression he needed to release. He touched one of the shuriken embedded in the floor, immediately withdrawing his hand at the burning metal. No, he most certainly not making things better. He fell onto his back, hands under his head, staring up at the weapons embedded in the ceiling, many with loose wires charred and dangling.

Kashii closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. He'd never lost his composure this badly, and worse, she'd seen him at his worst. Even if he regained it now, there was no way he could reverse it. He gazed at some of the knives embedded into the posts. Many of them had fallen to losing their forms. Fire may be the thing people think of when heat is mentioned, but there was no arguing that lighting was many thousands of times hotter, even if it only lasted an instant. He got back to his feet, finding it rather prevalent to stamp out the flames that had occurred in some places. See, this is why jutsu wasn't allowed in the dojo. Sure that there were no more tendrils of smoke, he pulled his hair from the tie, shaking it out. Some of the ends broke off. He'd even singed his hair. Beautiful. Running his fingers through, he tied a pony up higher, tying much out of his face as well.

Leaving the dojo and leaving the door open to vent, he considered hopping onto the roof of the house and sleeping there instead. It was apparent that would not be an option when he found Shi standing at the side door, waiting for him, wearing the same face he'd seen when he first met her. And it did nothing for his guilt. "I… just felt like letting loose. It's been a while since I've had the chance." She tapped her foot. "Suuure you did." Since when could someone see through him? Since when were his defenses so paper-thin? "It's true." It wasn't _exactly_ a lie. Perhaps just a white lie. "Mm-hmmm." She was totally not believing him. He glanced back into the doorway of the dojo. "... I can fix it." She deadpanned. "It's not the room I'm concerned about fixing." Yeah, that much he could gather.

Kashii really couldn't think of an argument, really. Part of him felt like bolting right there. Perhaps Soyokaze was _not_ the most fearful woman he knew. Without a word and without looking at her, he advanced, walking passed to the door. "So glad to see we've worked out that trust and vulnerability concept." He knocked his head on the doorframe. Of course. Unlike the rest of his life, this is a girl he'd promised to keep no secrets from. Goddamn promises. He always held up to them, and that's why he made so few of them. "Nrrgh.." Frustrating. He opened the door, beckoning her inside.

When she was inside, he moved to her, squeezing her against him. "I'm sorry… I promise to keep you safe." Again with the promises. This girl made him make so many of those. When he let her go, she sighed. "I'm not worried about being safe, you idiot, so why are you?" He took a breath, glancing at the ceiling in an attempt to _keep_ that composure. "Because there's a possibility that I'm _not_." She stared at him a moment. "Safe?" Kashii nodded. "Aye… I… let my teacher know. About us. She… did not take kindly to the information." Naturally, Shi didn't care in the slightest, and shrugged. "You're a jounin, your teacher is a former teacher. And, it's none of her business one way or another."

It was Kashii's turn to sigh. He put his back to the wall. "It's… a little more than that." He rapped his knuckles against the walnut wood of the wall. "As far as I know, teachers don't gift their students entire clan rights along with the property, nor do they establish their students as the _head_ of their clan. In that regard, she put me in a position that was superior to hers. She's even told me she considers me her equal, if not her superior." That bit of information had been a little hard to swallow. It was only a few days after he found out he was to train a team, but he hadn't met the children yet. But he had accepted it. And that was when he had only _just_ turned eighteen.

"Gifts are gifts," she said simply. "If she takes it back, then it wasn't a gift, it was a conditional lease. A leash to choke you with, in which case, we can move." He glanced back to Shi. "I can blow up the property on our way out, if you like." No, that wasn't a considerable option. "She never once mentioned the property." Shi shifted her position. "Then what is the concern?" Kashii fumbled, trying to think of the words he needed. "She told me… if I step out of line again, if I do anything that may endanger Saiko… that she'd orphan the child without a second thought." His hand went to his throat, remembering some of the ways he'd seen her kill, not to mention the ways he'd been taught to kill and figured out on his own. It would be interesting, ultimately, the way she would choose to end him.

Shi blinked, processing that information. Kashii seemed… frightened? No, that was never an adjective she would have ever put in the same sentence with the man, not referring _to_ him. "Then she will die a quick and explosive death. Is she aware of my bloodline trait?" She hummed. "If she is aware, it may be more difficult to get my hand around her throat. But I think I can manage."

Kashii remained silent, considering how to answer. "Yes, she is aware." He cleared his throat. "I do not fear death, and I never will. I've danced with death on more than one occasion. I've even kissed her." The last statement was accompanied by a pointed look at her. "What I _do_ fear is what will become of what I've left behind." A daughter, a lover, a brother. He had a family, and what would happen to that family if he _did_ die? It had never even been a passing thought to him in the past. If he died, then it would have because he was protecting what was important. In a sense, that was still true… but, for the first time in his life… Kashii _really_ didn't want to die.

"You're an idiot for telling her." No shit. But it wasn't something he could of kept from her. If she had found out from _anyone _other than himself personally… he may have not gotten off with simply an exile from her life. But still… "She was the one who assigned you and your teammates to me. She kept tabs. She met with me often. We chatted over tea. I had no reason _not_ to tell her. It was because of her that I found your Bakuton sensei." He shifted uncomfortably again. Kashii was never good at these kinds of conversations. "Then I suppose I will have to find a new sensei." Kashii dipped his head in apology, another act he so rarely did. "I'm so sorry."

She growled, gaining more and more dislike for the woman as the conversation progressed. "It's not your fault the bitch cannot be trusted."'_Bitch, huh...'_"She said she would treat me as nothing more than a stranger. She could have killed me, and she's crippled men for less; I've seen it myself. She offered me a kindness that she would not have allowed any other. She is nothing, if not trustworthy."

Shi reached for his face, touching his face. "She threatened what is _mine._" Kashii leaned his head against her touch, a hand rising to hold her against his face. "_No one_ threatens my family. Not a psychotic Aburame, not their minions, and not some high-and-mighty woman who wishes to be followed like a god in your life." He felt assured when her lips touched his. "A stranger I can live with, because a stranger who attempts to harm my family is an enemy that I will kill without thought or remorse." Kashii pressed his forehead against hers, eyes closed in thought. "I'm sorry… for being so incompetent. I will continue to love and care for you, as I have from the start. I will keep both you and Saiko close to me. And at least, now… There's nothing left for me to hide. I can act freely with you, even among others."

There were only two people Kashii had really cared about learning. Ito Soyokaze and Abe Samaru. He told Soyokaze to her face. Abe was currently under her tutelage. He'd find out from her, no doubt. And of course, Kashii would have to answer to Abe. Which he would. Abe couldn't possibly offer anything worse than what Soyokaze had. Not by a long shot. Shi hummed. "If you were not incompetent from time to time, I would have none of the pleasure I take in correcting it." She smiled, and he ducked his head at the comment. Naturally she would take advantage of his fuck-ups. "And I will continue to love you, and protect you, including from yourself." He wanted to interject at that last note, but then he remembered the disastrous thunderstorm he'd blown the dojo up with. Yeah, she was right. "And we'll always be free," Shi pressed against him, holding him close. "I am sorry that this hurts you." He nuzzled her."Even I have things that hurt me." He squeezed her tighter. "'You can only be hurt if you allow yourself to be.' You've said that to me before."

"I have." There was a beat before Shi spoke again. "If you could go back to the moment I asked you for a place to stay, knowing that I would ruin your life, would you have given me a different answer?" Kashii hummed. "Even if I had, my answer would have remained the same." Kashii had no real reason to refuse her, at that point in time. She'd come to him out of convenience, because she'd lost her place to live and knew Kashii had more than enough room to spare for five more people in his main home alone. Even allowing her to live with him, their relationship had the option to never form. He had the capabilities to reject her entirely, to shut down her hopes of ever being with him. And that was the route he _should_ of taken. But he didn't. In some ways, that made him the biggest idiot.

She rested her head against his shoulder, and he held her head against him. "You would change nothing?" His fingers weaved into her hair. "You make me feel, in ways I've never felt before, Why would I want to change that?" Yes, that was _why_ he had chosen this route. She had become something close to him that he couldn't block off, like he could other girls. But he wasn't sixteen anymore. Five years made a thin line between right and wrong, two years even more. He idly wondered how it would have been had he met Shi when he was sixteen. She would have been… eleven? Not even a second glance. If she had been sixteen when he was? At most a one night stand and he'd never look at her again. He was so amiable as a teen, wasn't he?

Shi glanced upward. "These feelings are worth the loss of your sensei's friendship?" Kashii closed his eyes, recalling every word she had spoken to him. It hurt. It really did. So much. "It would have happened eventually." Sooner or later, his stupidity would have caused this hurt. Though in essence, it had, hadn't it? "I'm a pain in the ass, I always have been." That look in her eye when she decided to reject his existence. Her face may have been stony, but the disappointment and sadness in her eyes was as visible as daylight to him. "I suppose… this was her limit."

The girl shook her head. Why did he always find the need to be roundabout? She didn't like the drama. "I will continue to respect her, as I always have. But I have lost the respect she has for me, and that is something I will never regain. My life will continue, regardless." Shi sighed. "You _know_ it's all my fault it happened." Kashii ruffled her hair. "No one blames you."

Shi paused, wheels turning in her head. "You could tell her I've been drugging you to make you compliant." Kashii shook his head. "Nah, that wouldn't be the truth. I accepted you of my own free will, and she is fully aware of that." She looked at him pointedly. "Narcotics mixed with aphrodisiacs can be nigh untraceable, you know. You would not have known any better, and believed it to be your own violation." His lips pursed. "And I'm supposing you want to try this, hmm?" His question was ignored. "Anyone who has met me would believe me fully capable. I'm sure that weasel Samaru would be _happy_ to testify to that." Kashii shook his head again. "I'll take the blame _entirely_. Blaming you for _anything_ would be a cop-out. You didn't do a damn thing wrong. You found someone you loved, and wanted to make him love you in return." Shi persisted. "That is not the opinion of a betrayed man who has been forced under a woman's spell. That is the opinion of a lovesick puppy. How are you ever supposed to regain her respect if you cannot prove your hatred of me?"

Kashii frowned, lost in thought, and knocked the back of his head against the wall. "It won't matter _what_ I do. I will _never_ gain it back, and I accept this fact. There are few I hold true hatred for." A bitter thought. "If you are the victimized party, I think she will be forgiving. You only need to determine if that is what you want." Kashii wanted so badly to just slide to the floor, holding his head. He shook that thought away. "I won't play the victim here." He flicked her forehead. "I have done terrible things in my life. Terribly terrible things. Do you think you possibly would have a chance with me had I truly no interest?" "With my talents for mixing herbs and my mother's recipes? Yes, I do."

Confident little bunny, wasn't she? "After the first time, I wouldn't have accepted _anything_ you offered me, if that had been the case." Her voice was deadpan. "You think it was a one-time dose that led immediately to the first time? Small doses, given long term, that gradually build up in effect." God _damn_ Kashii needed to brush up on his completely _nonexistent _poison and herb knowledge. "Such a smart child you are." Shi frowned. "You doubt that I would be capable of doing it?" she said, "I can show you my mother's recipe." Kashii shrugged. "I don't doubt it." He wouldn't know what most of the things in the recipes were, anyway.

"Yet… you are certain that your feelings are genuine? That they will not vanish should I leave, replaced with symptoms of withdrawal? Should we test it?" A long pause. "I can _never_ be sure of something I've never felt before, and I will _not_ pretend I am." She blinked at him. "But I know this," he started, meeting her eyes. "You produce a warm, happy feeling in a way I've never felt before now. Seeing you interact with my daughter… the closeness between us… I want to keep you by my side and not let you go." Kashii squeezed her against him. "I don't rightly know what constitutes 'love' but if I had to put a feeling to that label… I'd have to say it's the way I feel when I'm with you." He rested his head on her shoulder so that she couldn't see his expression. "When I see you with others, that sharp hurt. Jealousy, maybe? Pining for you when you're away." He huffed. "I've become pretty sappy in my old age, haven't I?"

Shi bit the inside of her lip, pulling him away so that she could examine his face for _any_ hint of a lie. Though was a better liar than even she, Shi saw no deceit in his eyes. "And you have no regrets?" He shook his head once. "Not one." He could see the wetness in her eyes. He'd made so _many_ girls cry in his lifetime. Some on purpose, many on accident, but all for more or less the same reasons. But never for a reason such as this. Who he was now and who he was when he was assigned this time were two different people _entirely._ Her voice was quiet. "...Thank you." He pressed his lips against hers. "There is nothing to thank me for."

Shi ran many images through her mind. All the experiences she'd had with him. The distaste she'd had for him for the longest time. In hindsight, he'd been doing things in her best interest after all, in that weird, idiotic way that only he could. He taught her, reformed her, stuck his neck out for her in a situation that may have gotten her killed. Forced birthday celebrations. Forced interactions. Took her out even if she didn't want to go. At the time, she'd hated it. But in hindsight, he'd always treated her with kindness. In the end, it had been her _own_ ability to _accept_ that kindness that had led to how things were now. Perhaps she didn't even realize it until that Aburame woman caught them in her clutches. He'd nearly killed himself in his idiotic way of protecting them. But he _did_ protect, and everyone came out alive. And he continued to accept her, even after.

"I disagree," she said. "There is a lot to thank you for." Kashii hummed. "No. I give you things you only rightly deserve. I need no thanks for that." Shi hummed, lost in thought. "I think… this is what "in love" is supposed to feel like…" There was a fluttering feeling in his stomach, completely foreign, that brought color to his face. It tickled, a bit. "Yes, I suppose it is." She smiled softly at his response. "The rest of the world could blow away, and all of the people in it. And I would not mind, because you are here, with me." The entire conversation felt foreign to him. "It wouldn't be the first time I've said '_Fuck the world.'_" She chuckled and kissed him. "I love you, my Kaa-chan…" How many times had he heard that before? Countless. How many times had he felt it to be true? This would be the second time. But this time… He knew he'd gotten in deep. He'd once said, 'Why fall when you can stay on top?' "Love, huh…" Well, yes, Namame Kashii. "Yeah." You've fallen hard, for a sixteen year old girl. He'd only said 'I love you' to one other person, only once, and it was when she'd _never_ be able to hear it. Not underneath the layer of stone she'd been buried under. But he'd fallen for this girl, and she needed to hear it properly, for it was the truth, as he saw it. And he felt this won't be the only time he'd say it. "Hell be damned, I'll… I love you too." Because when you fall, it's that girl who will hold you up and keep you on top.

And that seemed to be the end of the conversation. Her finger traced on his chest, idly drawing circles. "Do you know what I would _really_ love for you do do now?" His interest piqued. "What would that be?" he asked with a smile. "I want you…" She came close, brushing her lips against his, "To clean up that fucking mess you made of the dojo." He winced before she even finished, cursing when she stepped back and smirked. "Yes, ma'am." She laughed again. "And if you do a good job of it, I might just reward you after." Kashii muttered in response. "If there even _is_ an 'after.' Did you see what I did to the place?" Shi smirked, knowing _exactly_ what he did in there. "Then I will have to make it a very good reward." She hummed in thought. "I don't suppose christening it properly will suffice." Kashii thought about all the havoc he'd wreaked in there. Oh, he'd hate himself for _that_ in the morning. "Maybe add in a nice long massage tonight before bed." And then he thought about that instead, purring in response. "That sounds fantastic." She smiled in response. "And if that doesn't put you to sleep, I could always try using my mouth rather than my hands." He broke eye contact, imagining exactly what she was talking about. "That sounds nice, too." Yet another giggle. "You'll just have to work very hard on that dojo then."

Kashii gave a half salute to her, watching as her hips swayed with her retreat. There would at least be something to look forward tonight, instead of the nightmares he'd planned to consume himself with. Their conversation and the sheer amount of chakra he'd expended made him feel spent however, but still, he rolled his sleeves, walking back out the side door to assess the damage. Kashii could do nothing but simply sit on the floor once he entered, staring, half awed, half disgusted, at the spectacular mess he'd made. He leaned back, looking at the ceiling, where many weapons were lodged with wires that dangled several feet higher than he was tall, even if he stretched his fingers as far as they could go.

"Now how the _hell_ am I even going to reach those…" he muttered, wondering even _where_ he'd begin in this hellhole he'd created. Two statuesque felines sat side by side, grinning widely at each other, having heard the entire conversation. It was about time their masters had become _proper_ mates. Curling tails together as if in handshake, they trotted away to where the toddler was.


End file.
